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Madness - Diary of Shimshay Bargu [Entry three out now!]


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狂気は最悪の病気です

Entry One

I cannot remember entirely what happened to me before, nor do I want to. If you have found this, then please feel free to make yourself comfortable in the house, it hasn’t been touched by the infected…yet. Be sure to illuminate it slightly so I don’t blow your head off when I walk inside.

Upon entering this house, I found a place to sleep and discovered this empty book, or journal of sorts. I have decided to portray the day’s events on paper, to one, maybe help out a fellow survivor in this place and most importantly, to keep me from going insane.

Good luck out there, friend.

The last I can remember I woke along the shores of Chernarus, the day before last. I was sure I was in Chernogorsk before? I had cycled there, I was being chased. Infected? Survivors? Now I remember. It was them. The jets, the attack choppers, they appeared from nowhere and began to destroy everything. They dropped bombs, fired missiles. The remaining survivors returned fire but to no avail. I was in Elektrovadsk and then made my way to Chernogorsk. Apparently it was safe there.

I had killed a man.

I‘d come close to being blown to bits when one of the choppers gave chase to me on my bicycle. I managed to escape to one of the factory complexes, someone was there, waiting for me. Dead bodies lay at their feet. He offered me a weapon and told me to follow him into the central town. Some major groups were fighting there and had heavy weaponry to fend the infected and bombers off. Who was this man? A friend. That was not the first time I had met him. I do not recall his name, I only see his face. I wonder where he is now.

I began to fade back into reality and assessed my surroundings. I could see a few houses close to me, all of which looked barred. I saddened at the thought of having to spend the night outside again. Alone. But further inland I saw what seemed to be a city. There was a harbour or docks of some sort to my right. I had studied the map of Chernarus. Where on earth was I?

I concentrated and attempted to break whatever it was barring my mind, but the moans of a few infected broke through, startling me. The constant crashing of the waves along the shore drowned them out, but they were beginning to notice me. One of them, dragging his leg behind, made his way towards me. I shook my body all over and reminded myself that it was not safe here.

‘What are you doing Shimshai? Now is not the time to think!’

I shouted aloud, stirring more infected.

‘Find a weapon, some food, water and a place to sleep. Then you can think.’

They were getting closer now, I could smell their rotting flesh.

Having set my priorities straight, I started running in-land. I pushed one of the infected to the floor, nearly tumbling myself and ending it all. Luckily not. I made my way towards the large city in search of what little peace was left.

Upon reaching the city, that I had decided was Berezino due to the docks and the multiple road signs, I found it to be full of the infected. They were everywhere. From one spot, I could spin around and count 100 at least, all within around 200 metres. They would easily latch onto me if I made too much noise and I would surely die.

I decided to run beside the road on the dying grass at an attempt to dampen the sound of my footsteps. I was aiming for the grocery store, in hope of some food or drink that was yet to be looted or ruined. Surely there would be some left? It was life or death. I could not survive without it. There HAD to be some.

I continued travelling towards the store and it happened. 50 metres away from the entrance, there was only a short run left. I could have beat him there if I ran. But he was blocking me. It was surreal. As if he knew I was heading there. Yes, one of them had spotted me. He began making his way towards me, faster than the others, he still maintained both of his legs. Probably from a steady diet I should think. It was an attempt at humour, but I hadn’t laughed. In fact, it had made me feel quite sick, thinking of the poor men and women he had feasted on. Screaming in horror as their flesh was ripped away by hungry teeth.

I couldn’t let that happen to me.

I studied him as he got closer. He would have been a strong man before all of this, he probably visited the gym at least twice a week. He was getting closer. His brown hair, now dampened with blood, was thick and it hadn’t lost any colour. There was no grey to be seen. I guessed he was in his early thirties. Still he came closer. I looked into his eyes. Did he? No. I was certain he had smiled at me…Shit!

I was doing it again.

‘Stop thinking! Just run!’

Once again, I said this aloud, luckily, none of the others had heard me, it only crazed the one coming for me even more. He picked up more speed.

I darted in between houses and other buildings, hoping my agility and nimble-ness would help me lose him. It didn’t work. I wound up in a barn, one entrance. Such a stupid idea. I would NEVER make that mistake again. I attempted to hide from him, hoping he wouldn’t find me.

He did.

I shuffled towards the back corner of the barn, knowing that now, it was surely all over. I curled up into a ball, under the false belief that he wouldn’t be able to get to me this way. Closer and closer he got, slower inside the building. He was toying with me, I was sure. He wanted to make me squirm so much that it would be a challenge to eat me. He was enjoying this.

BANG!

A gunshot, not far off, rang out through the dead air. He turned his head, as surprised as I was.

BANG!

He turned fully now, shifting his whole body towards the open doorway. Surely he wouldn’t leave me here. I was fresh meat. No. He was just curious. I did not know what else to do, my adrenaline was pumping, I had been cornered by a flesh-eating monster and my life was surely about to end.

I jumped up and ran at him. Taking him to the floor with all of my might. I beat him, over and over again in his repulsive face. He did not fight back. He did not struggle. It was as if he was allowing it. I continued to beat his rotten flesh until it was mostly pulp, pancake-like. Blood and skin covered my hands. I pulled myself from his corpse and wiped my hands on my jeans.

Then I ran.

I ran like I never had before. A good thirty minutes straight. I did not stop. I had nothing to stop for. No food, no drink, no friends to catch up. I was scared. So very scared. I needed a weapon. I needed something to kill these things. I sculpted my path, using my little knowledge of the Chernarus’ countryside, towards the North East airfield.

The events that happened at that airfield are best not told, due to my own wrong-doings and others’. You need not know the details. Only that there were many dead men there. One of which was killed by myself. I had found a weapon and had soon after dropped it in an attempt to escape from that place. Life and all of my limbs intact, I headed south, once again running for what seemed to be forever. Barely surviving on the few food and drink items I had scavenged from the dead.

I have been writing for hours and now I must sleep. You need as much energy as possible here and sleep is no less important than your diet. Hopefully I will survive another day, and can continue this journal. But for now…good-bye.

Good luck out there, friend.

Entry two

I have been running, running for miles, I couldn’t stay at the airfield. There was too much death, everywhere, I must have seen around 6/7 dead men. None of which looked infected. They had been killed cold-heartedly. Each one had the same, blank and confused look, as if they were all saying, ‘What is going on? Why is this being done?’ It scared me. It scared me that people were capable of doing this.

I am fully aware that I was forced to kill a man myself. But this was different. Wasn’t it? Yes, it was different. They were arguing over a helicopter. A helicopter for Christ’s sake! In my case, it was life…or death. It had to be done. I had to kill that man. Didn’t I? I don’t know. I don’t know what is right or wrong anymore. I simply tell myself these things to keep me going. But are they true?

Am I really different to these savages?

That is for you to decide my friend.

I eventually made it to a place known as Novy Sobor. At least I think that’s where I was. The map I had taken from one of the dead men wasn’t that helpful. It was losing colour and some of the names had disappeared. It also didn’t help that the owner before me had scribbled all over it. There were dotted lines and circles, all in either green or red.

What did these things mean? I wasn’t sure. One thing I was sure of were the big bold letters, spelling out the word, ‘ARMY’. Surely this didn’t mean that there were some kind of armed forces still present in Chernarus? As far as I was aware, the infection had spread across the whole globe. But maybe it hadn’t. Maybe the rumours were false after all.

There could still be hope.

I continued my journey west to the next town, Stary Sobor. There was an unknown relation between the two cities’, I wondered what these words meant? I believed English to be the most important secondary language, a shame I didn’t choose to learn a little Czech.

I was doing it again. Getting lost in thought. I needed to focus on survival. The meaning of Novy and Stary was hardly a pressing matter.

As I began preparing for the short yet extremely dangerous run into Stary, due to the wide, expansive area and the increase in the number of infected, I decided to check the barn-like buildings. Once used for storing animals and grains. I thought to myself about the farmer that used to own this place, working every day to provide for his family. He probably had- that was it.

I was furious at myself.

I could not continue to let my mind get the better of me and wander off through the complexity of how life must have been before. My brain was going to be the death of me…if I didn’t use it correctly.

Fuck the farmer, he’s probably dead anyway. I slowly ran into the barn, keeping low to stay out of sight from the infected. I saw something glint out of the corner of my eye. I turned quickly, half expecting to see an infected bearing his teeth to eat me. It was a hunting rifle, some type of shotgun judging by the shape. A few rounds lay nearby, I stuffed them into my pockets, loaded one and continued on, gun in hands, to Stary Sobor.

Again, good luck out there friend.

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  • Sapphire

I swear I've seen this story somewhere :troll:

Good story man lets see more :D

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  • Emerald

I tried, I really did I try, yet I just can't read this bright blue colored text. My eyes just ask for forgiveness.

I advise you to change it, there is nothing wrong with white text. It won't effect the quality of the content.

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I tried, I really did I try, yet I just can't read this bright blue colored text. My eyes just ask for forgiveness.

I advise you to change it, there is nothing wrong with white text. It won't effect the quality of the content.

Changed, much love <3


I swear I've seen this story somewhere :troll:

Good story man lets see more :D

You saw nothing.

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If you do happen to come across me in game then you may think it is a troll character. I can assure you that he is far from this. I role play him to be extremely scared and he doesn't like giving people information about himself. So if you do find me and I tell you I am a, 'Russian Pirot in the German Army who is good friends with the CRA and SKA. I am not trolling you, I try to come across as scared to death so therefore choose to try and intimidate others with what I am capable of. Basically, he is a massive bullshitter, but you won't see that in the diary entries because they show his true personality.

Oh, I think he just joined the Yakuza mafia as well :P

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Very good, you do something not many other people do and that is telling what happened before the outbreak. You add human nature into a game about killing, and that is something special if you can RP it effectively.

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Very good, you do something not many other people do and that is telling what happened before the outbreak. You add human nature into a game about killing, and that is something special if you can RP it effectively.

what do you mean by outbreak? Outbreak into the rest of the world or outbreak in general because it is meant to be set after the zombies have arrived...

Oh and thanks alot!

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I thought the helicopters exploding and such was when the outbreak was starting

Ahhh, yeah it was. Just afterwards though, when everyone knows that the infection is imminent. These guys decided to bomb the shit out of Chernarus in a hope that it would decimate the infected, stopping them from spreading.

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Entry Three

I haven’t wrote in this journal in a while now. Too many things have been going on in the outside world. I have been…surviving. However, I haven’t had a lot of interaction with other people. I’ve spent a lot of my time wandering out in the forests. I’ve even began to build a small shelter, I’ve used fallen branches as the structure, stolen bed sheets from nearby houses for the roof and I even have a sleeping bag inside, I found it in a grocery store a while back.

Hunting animals for my meals and cooking them fresh, collecting water from not only the rain but a nearby stream too. It has been bliss and is probably one of the most peaceful places remaining in Chernarus. I only remember having to kill a few infected over the last couple of months. Sadly it all has to end and as I travelled through Vybor and up to the North West Airfield to stock up on some lasting food and ammunition, some gentlemen appeared in front of me. I do not know their names and I do not want to. I only know that they took everything from me. After taking my map, they studied it revealing my safehaven.

Now it is gone. Now I am back to ‘surviving’, no longer living.

I didn’t want to return, but I had to. I had to make sure there was nothing left for me. I was correct, they had pillaged and stolen everything, burnt the shelter to the ground. I sat at a nearby tree, staring into the mess. I must’ve fallen asleep because the next thing I saw was the daylight and I could hear the birds singing overhead. I began walking towards what I thought was the nearest town, although, without a map or compass, I could’ve been walking the entirely wrong way. I walked for a while, stopping to gulp water from the stream as scarcely as possible. It could have been infected and that was one of the last things I wanted.

Suddenly, I heard a snap of a twig and instantly froze. Not knowing what to do, I slowly crept towards the nearest bush and hid inside of it, keeping my eyes on the direction of the sound. It looked like a rabbit, as I studied it, it darted off further into the forest out of sight. I saw a figure emerge from the bushes where the rabbit had previously been and discovered it to be a man, not infected. I was tempted to converse with him but I figured my best bet would be to stay hidden for now.

So I followed him.

I watched as he killed a pig and threw it over his shoulder, carrying it on further. I still trailed behind until he reached an opening, I saw 5 other men sleeping around a campfire and I kept my distance. I couldn’t begin to converse with these men now, I would probably be shot as soon as I spoke. I turned to leave and saw a lone infected man, slowly making his way towards me. Had he seen me? Yes, yes he had. He was coming straight at me and to make matters worse, one of the men from the camp was heading towards me too.

I had to think fast.

I lowered myself against the three and felt around on the ground for some sort of rock. I found one and looked towards the man from the camp, he hadn’t seen the infected and was now closer to him than I was. I didn’t want to do it, but I had to. The man could die, or I could die. It had to be done. I threw the rock towards the man who appeared to be using the bathroom and the infected turned his head sharply, sculpting his path to the occupied man. I saw my chance and took it. Low at first and then gradually building up speed and height, I propelled away from the camp in the same direction as before.

I heard a single gun-shot, but I didn’t stop.

I ran for hours and eventually made it to Prud Lake. It was empty, only a few people were scattered around the camp and when nobody was looking my way, I darted into the barn outside. I nestled my head on some hay and closed my eyes. The thought that I was willing to kill another man to save my own life tormented me again.

I would be lucky to sleep at all, not having nightmares would be a miracle.

I suppose I should wish you good luck out there again friend.

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