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Guest Mastermuffin23

RE: STORY GOOD FOR WHITELIST! NEED OPINIONS

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Guest Mastermuffin23   
Guest Mastermuffin23

zombie apocalypse character

Connor “Conz” Cooper

Connor was born in wellington new zealand by two loving parents, his father an x military officer had seen a lot of action in his time in the army and it had chiseled him down in to a hard and stern man but still loving his wife and newborn son. His mother was a ceo of a big new zealand corporation, she practically was drowning in money but it came at a cost she was becoming depressed and stressed and she was reaching her limit, but her child was giving her some closure and some time of which she was extremely thankful for.

Connors life was pretty hard but he was still loved as his dad was quite stern on him and trained him from an early age. With extensive training in survival skills, firearm use and first aid by the time he was twelve he was mature past his years. At age 13 he found his first proper girlfriend Amber Stowell which his parents of course disagreed with at first but once they meet her they knew she was a nice girl.

Connor was now sixteen and him and Amber had been dating for three years now and they were like the happiest couple alive spending each and every waking minute together. After one saturday night they were walking home and got jumped by two mobsters, While connor fought two of them, Ambar stood back and hid which of course was connors plan as he didn't want her to get hurt. After Connor knocked one to the ground he spotted Amber and gave chase Amber tried to run but was caught by the man. As he held her with a knife to her neck Connor tried to calm things down but the man was to jumpy and as soon Connor started walking towards him he slit her throat Amber fell to ground and connor catched her while the mobsters ran away. He started to sob and call for help and a man came out he called the ambulance and they took Amber away. Connor went home were his parents were waiting for him. they told him that Amber had passed away on her way to the hospital Connor heartbroken fainted and fell to the floor

Amber's death had affected him making him fall into a deep state of depression. His parents were worried for his well being so they decided to take him on holiday to where they first meet a place called “Chernarus” a state in Russia. Connor having nothing else to do go’s without question. When they finally got everything ready they headed to the airport and got on the plane.

They were at Chernarus finally after a long plane trip all connor wanted to do was go to their apartment and go to sleep. Once they arrived in their apartment in Stary Sobor Connor was knackered but his mum requested him to go get some food at the supermarket down the road. Connor did as he was ordered and walked down to the supermarket it was a nice place but there was hardly no one around. He walked into the supermarket and it was completely empty after he filled his trolley he headed to the counter. No one came so he called out to anyone someone stepped out of the back but it was nothing like he expected. His face was rotten and there was blood all over him he screamed at Connor and well Connor he practically shat himself. Connor dropped all he had and ran outside and it has looked like all hell had broken loose, burning buildings, flipped cars what was going on. Connor needed to know if his parents were alright so he ran back to the apartment dodging zombies on the way.

When he arrived at his apartment his mother and father had been fending off zombies and both had been bitten in the process. His dad looked at him and told him to run and don't stop for anyone, at first he didn't want to go but his dad forced him saying that he would perish if he did not go. So Connor started to run up into the hills and into the forest tears filling his eyes as he went. After running for countless hours he collapsed and laid there thinking to himself

what was he going to do

was his parents ok

what the hell was happening

And with all these confusing thoughts in his head he drifted into a deep sleep

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Guest Vespah   
Guest Vespah

Although some of your story is Geographically incorrect (like Chernarus being in Russia, Chernarus is a fictional country :P) the story is still pretty good :)

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Guest   
Guest

Chernarus isn't fictional, its a post soviet country. Dont quote me on that but i know it existed

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Chernarus is based on the Czech Republic irl, but fictionally is an ex-Soviet state. So its almost Russia.

As for the story, it was ok, a bit cliché but good enough, you have all the right things in the story, character's personality, his past, reasons for being in Chernarus etc.

There were a few errors in there you will most likely have to fix, put the story through a word processor and it should fix all the errors.

And last but not least, welcome, enjoy your stay and hope to see you in game one day :)

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Snow    1

Chernarus is neither real nor part of Russia, and is supposedly located north of the Green Sea, a fictional extension of the Black Sea. Also, it isn't exactly a great holiday destination with and the civil unrest and war crimes. There are quite a few grammar issues which you'll want to fix it before applying.

However, it's refreshing to see a character which isn't a superbadassnavysealsaselitesniperspecialforcesifeelnoemotionandthereforedonthavetoroleplay.

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EpicRaptor    0

Chernarus isn't fictional, its a post soviet country. Dont quote me on that but i know it existed

No, it didn't exist.

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