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Server time (UTC): 2023-02-09 09:36

Rick's story tell me what you think:)


Guest RickZurk

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Guest RickZurk

-Present...

My eyes were greeted by a blinding light, and the light hovered over me until I found the strength to move, I put my hands to my side and slowly pulled myself up into a sitting position. As i sat there in the dirt my head felt hazy and my whole body ached with a pain I have never felt....The feeling of guilt.

-9 hours earlier....

Today had been harsh and as the sun started to set I could tell that this place would become even harsher. I had been walking on this God forsaken island for a couple of days now, I cant even remember how I got here all I remember was waking up on the beach with a terrible, head ache and pains everywhere . I had been walking aimlessly for a few days my feet were hurting and hands burning from all the climbing, and running.

-day 1...

The first time I saw one of those creeps was about a hour after I awoke on the beach, I was happy at first I thought I would never see a human again, and then the "thing" turned to me, its jaw hanging from its mouth and its face covered in thick red blood, I froze on the spot my feet wouldn't move, I didnt know what to do. And as it started running at me my survival instinct kicked in, when the creep got close enough I kicked it straight in the chest sending it flying to the ground, It moaned and groaned and its hand lurched for me. I ran to were its head was, Its jaw still hanging by a thread. I had read the comic when I was younger and seen those god awful movies....I knew what I had to do....strike it in the brain. My walking boot came down hard on its head, my boot went straight through its skull, it felt like I was stomping on jelly. After a few kicks in the head It stopped moving, and I carried on walking...wherever I was going.

-9 hours from the present...

my feet ached the worst they had so far, and I didnt know how long I could keep walking before I fell. I couldnt see any creeps in the small town itself It looked empty from what I could see. But just in case I crouched down low and kept moving towards the village. As I came closer I saw a small red bricked building with the door wide open I looked around for any threats and carried on towards the house. When I came to the door and bent my head and looked inside. It seemed clear. I slowly made my way inside and was greeted by a small hallway a room to my right and another a bit further down the hall. I went into the room on my right, the first thing I saw was a small coffee table stacked high with newspapers and a cuboard. I walked towards the coffee table and looked at the newspaper. The text on the paper was some sort of foreign language, maybe Russian but I wasent sure. I made my way towards the cuboard and opened the doors slowly, they creaked and made a horrible noise, when they were opened the cuboard was empty nothing but dust inhabited it. I then stopped dead on the spot, I had heard a small creaking noise, almost like a floor board. I thought to myself "shit a creep". So I turned around lightning fast to face my foe.

As I turned I raised my fists ready to kill this son of a bitch, but what I saw was no creep, it was a human being! I was shocked at first, I hadn't seen a human in nearly a week and I didnt know how to react. He was a male, about 40 years old, he was a little smaller than me, he had a small amount of stubble, and his black hair was wild and crazy looking, like he hadn't washed it in years. At first we just stood there looking at each other, then the man spoke I didnt understand a word of what he said, it was obviously foreign, so I just waved and said "hello" sheepishly he obviously didnt understand me. So we both stood there looking at each other what seemed like for hours.

then in a flash he ran at my, full speed and tackled me to the ground, he punched me straight in the jaw and I could taste blood in my mouth. my instict kicked in and I elbowed the crazy guy in the face, this made him flinch but he still kept wildly throwing punches at me. I was able to grab some of his hair and I yanked his head backwards and with my other hand grabbed him by his neck. I then was able to get us to our feet, I still held him there with my hand tightly round his neck and my other gripping his hair. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my leg, he had knee'd me right in my thigh so I let go of him and staggered backwards towards the window. I put my hands up in defense and shouted "STOP!", this made the man's eyes go even wilder and he sprinted at me for another assault.

When he reached me he grabbed my by my shirt and pushed me straight through the window, sending pieces of glass everywhere. I landed on the grass outside with a thud but I felt no pain. I looked up to see the man climbing through the broken window and he jumped down standing over me like a hunter to its prey. I looked to my left and saw a shard of glass, I swiftly grabbed the piece of glass and slashed the mans ankle, he dropped to his knee's giving me enough time to get to my feet. I then was the hunter standing over its prey. Without a second thought I rammed the piece of glass into the back of the mans neck, he made a low groan and then slumped down. Dead.

-Present.... I then got to my feet rubbed the dirt from my trouser and picked up my bag....."today is going to be harsh" I told myself..."But I must survive"..........

-End If you guys could give me your opinion's that would be awesome, Im very into writing story's but as you can probally see im kinda new to it, just leave your opinions and tell me what I could improve on, Im not whitelisted on the Dayz rp server's I just thought I could share with you guys my characters "story" :)

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Nicely written, a good start to the story, but nearer the end there were a few grammatical errors. (The first letter of some paragraphs need capitalizing too)

Also: Chernarus isn't an island, its connected to the mainland. ;)

Mistakes aside, I enjoyed the story.

I'm assuming you have not applied to the whitelist with just this? If its for an application it needs more information about Rick. His skills / personality, also his past (job, family, how he got here etc.).

I look forward to hearing where Rick goes next :)

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