shawn2667 Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 I was in helicopter coming back home but then the engine went we crashed landed in a town but I can not remember what was the town called I woke up seeing lots of shadows. I tried to get up but I can't but then some think was running to me he started to pull me out and he tried to bit me I quickly got my pistol out and shot him. I looked around and said to my self "This is a zombie invasion". I am 20 years old. I was a leader of a team but they all died in the crash i need help. I am Shawn Pickering please help. Link to comment
Sapphire Herr Posted December 4, 2013 Sapphire Share Posted December 4, 2013 Alright then. Link to comment
Sapphire Mush Posted December 4, 2013 Sapphire Share Posted December 4, 2013 Alright then. ^This. Good try, but I'd suggest adding a bit to it, look around the forums and get some inspiration! Link to comment
Guest Kjordy Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 -snip- USER WAS WARNED FOR THIS POST Link to comment
Carved_ Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 -snip- USER WAS WARNED FOR THIS POST Link to comment
Shiro Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 I came back from the army and went back home but my family was dead in the house so know i am trying to survive now and i miss them so much -snip- USER WAS WARNED FOR THIS POST Link to comment
TrilbyAsh Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 USER HAS BEEN WARNED FOR THIS POST Link to comment
NoobHunterAnzy Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 -snip- edit: take a look at other threads in the roleplay section and get inspiration from there. USER HAS BEEN WARNED FOR THIS POST Link to comment
Emerald TightPants Posted December 4, 2013 Emerald Share Posted December 4, 2013 Guys, lets not mock him, he's obviously spent a lot of time working on that! You should know better! I see a mock in there. It's subtle but yet you can find it there. I think staff shouldn't do things like these. Link to comment
dave_owns Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 -snip- USER HAS BEEN WARNED FOR THIS POST Link to comment
Guest itskarlumad Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 -snip- USER WAS WARNED FOR THIS POST Link to comment
dave_owns Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 I'm sorry, I mocked him. Link to comment
TrilbyAsh Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 Mhm. There is a bit of a mock in there...But really. It's a very subtle one, compared with some blatant mocking going on in here, and therefore, it was a silly and serious post. Lets stop the mocking here, and start giving him some criticism instead. Anyone who posts an image macro or anything along those lines will be given warning points. Link to comment
Guest funnyfacegaming Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 I'm not sure if this is a troll or not but if it's not don't be jerks about it anyways at least he attempted to write something in this section Link to comment
TrilbyAsh Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 He did post the same thing at the same time in the Joining/Leaving section to, so it's distinctly possible. Still. Lets keep the topic on the OP, and provide feedback if you really want to. Link to comment
Guest John Le Bear Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 I guess it works. It sums up your character quite well. It states your occupation, what happened to your family, and your goals to survive. I like it, short and sweet, 10/10 Though to please the others you may want to add more detail, or not. You cant please them all! Link to comment
Guest Astycc Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 This needs a lot of work. User was warned for this post. Link to comment
Emerald Alyd Posted December 4, 2013 Emerald Share Posted December 4, 2013 -Snipped Image- This could use some work. Well, a lot. Check out some of the other and err... more advanced threads. User was warned for this post. Link to comment
Olledabest Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 -Snip- User was warned for this post. Link to comment
Sapphire Sir Doctor Posted December 4, 2013 Sapphire Share Posted December 4, 2013 I love the unique insight you give your character and the I depth emotion he shows towards his family. Great read! You should do a sequel Link to comment
Emerald Soren Posted December 4, 2013 Emerald Share Posted December 4, 2013 What is wrong with you guys? Give the guy a chance. This guy is completely new to the server, this was his first post. Sure it's not the greatest of all, but atleast he's trying. The fact that you guys start mocking a new member of the community for trying to roleplay is disgraceful, I hope you guys had your fun, because this will not be tolerated. Link to comment
DefiantDwarf Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 Every great story starts with a single line. What he wrote wasn't actually that bad. Compared to the many elite snipers crashing in Chernarus, this guy appears much more human. I want to know more, and that's where the improvements and detail come in. Link to comment
Emerald Matt Posted December 4, 2013 Emerald Share Posted December 4, 2013 If he puts detail in this it may be good but atleast from what i can tell his character actually has some emotions. Link to comment
Emerald Ross Posted December 4, 2013 Emerald Share Posted December 4, 2013 you could expand on it maybe your name what you did in the army, where you lived, what happened prior to getting home you could develop it into a great story Link to comment
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