Jump to content
Server time: 2017-08-19, 05:35

Sign in to follow this  
Guest BoomBoomHaHa

Hello! Want to see what others think about this story.

Recommended Posts

Guest BoomBoomHaHa   
Guest BoomBoomHaHa

First of all, hello everyone! Still pending my application but I would like to see what people think about this story I made up about my background for my application. I did spend a lot of time on thinking about this because I am the least creative person that I know and I don't have many people read over this yet. If you could take a look and maybe give me some constructive criticism that would be great!

Jonathan Rile is a retired American Air Force transport helicopter pilot. After high school, Jonathan didn't know what to do with his life so he joined the Air Force just like his uncle, Rob. During his time in the Air Force, Jonathan found out that his love was piloting. His first tour of duty was going fine and when he got back to the States, he found a beautiful woman named Ashley. Before he left for his second tour of duty, he promised to marry Ashley after he got back to the States. The second tour of duty was intense. Jonathan's helicopter was shot down and he was the lone survivor. He barely survived by taking a rifle from a fallen sniper to defend himself and found that he was talented with shooting. To his amazement, his uncle Rob came in a second helicopter to save his nephew. Jonathan was fine except for a broken leg but he was honorably discharged. When he got back to the states, he proposed to Ashley but she declined for a man she was having an affair with. Jonathan was truly saddened and angry so he went to the local gun shop and bought a hunting rifle. He waited down the street in an abandoned building from Ashley's house waiting for this second man. He spotted a man being greeted and kissed by Ashley and he took the shot. It was good and the man dropped dead. Jonathan had to run so he borrowed a small biplane from a friend and started flying to this place he heard of on the news... Chernarus. While approaching the airstrip of Balota, a large bird struck his plane and caused him to crash. A day later, he awakened and found a man hunched over and Jonathan cried out for help. The man was not a man he was some sort of zombie. He ran towards Jonathan but before he could attack, Jonathan shot a 9mm round from his Bretta M9. "Where am I?" exclaimed Jonathan.

Again if you have any constructive criticism please reply with it. If not then that's fine as well. I'm glad if you actually spent time reading all of it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
GlitchyV2    0

Nice story, a pretty good way to get to Chernarus...

I give it a 8/10, needs paragraphs and some more info. (Jonathans childhood, etc...)

:D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Samaritan    251

Good luck with your app, not a bad story bud! Welcome to the community.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest BoomBoomHaHa   
Guest BoomBoomHaHa

Thanks for the constructive criticism guys! So far its been slow every day I wake up and see my position in queue go up by 10 :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Sign in to follow this  

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×