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Guest overkill184

Character backstory. Opinions?

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Guest overkill184   
Guest overkill184

My Father was a navy seal in the US Navy. He got stationed in multiple countries a year. First it was Iraq, then Afghanistan, then he was a bodyguard for the British Prime Minister. In 2000 we all moved back to the US. In 2001 during the 9/11 bombing my mother died. Since then we have been living in Bear Creek, Alabama in a small shack by a lake. We stayed there for 6 years until my father got stationed in Russia. I lived in America with my aunt while my father was stationed in Russia. In 2007 my father wanted to bring me down to Russia for a week or two. I had very few friends since i lived in multiple places but there was always one person that would always talk with me either by phone or sometimes in person. I got a job being a taxi driver to get money for the plane tickets, so that me and my friend could visit my father together. After 4 months of driving people around in a Prius all day long. My friend and I got 2 plane tickets to Russia and left 1 month later. We boarded the plane and left by 2 am. We landed 18 or so hours later in Moscow. I tried calling my father 5 or so times but he never answered. We looked at the TV in the airport and saw the news lady talking about an overload of sick people in hospitals all around Russia. We went to baggage claim and got a taxi to take us to the military base stationed near Chernarus. When we were 1 km away from the base we saw smoke and fire coming from that direction. We got out of the taxi and started to run towards the fire. When we were 100 meters away from the base we saw people running around like madmen. We debated whether to run away or to run towards the base, we decided to run away because it looked to dangerous. When we got back to the taxi we saw a man bending down on the other side if the taxi. When I went over to the other side of the taxi I saw "man" eating the taxi driver and i almost screamed but i was in shock. The "man" looked up at me and screamed at me. I immediately got in the taxi and turned on the car. My friend was already waiting in the car, so we drove away as fast as we could. When we were got into the city of what we now know is called Komorovo. We got out of the taxi and stayed in an abandoned house right outside the city. We have been living here for 3 months. My friend has been acting really weird the past few months since we saw that "walker" by the taxi. It's morning and there is blood everywhere in our house. I called for my friend but i was never able to find him. It's been 10 days since i moved from my home and I'm now in search for my father, my friend, and some new allies.

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GlitchyV2    0

Good story, well written! (but NEEDS paragraphs)

A pretty original way of getting into Chernarus, and that is ALWAYS a +!

Add paragraphs and i will give it a 9/10 ;)

Hopefully you get whitelisted and we shall meet in-game :D

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Guest overkill184   
Guest overkill184

Thx man

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Has this already been submitted?

What you have so far is nicely written, but its lacking any detailed information about your character. Right now we only really know about his family and how he got to Chernarus (which is very detailed).

Consider answering these points:

- What's his name?

- What's his personality?

- Strengths / Weaknesses. Skills, from the fact he got a job as a taxi driver he must be a good driver. But other skills would be beneficial (or even hobbies)

Additional point (not necessary but would also be cool) :

- Explain who your "friend" is, or at least refer to him by name.

Hope this helps and I wish you luck. :)

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