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Peter Karlsen's Journal


pl4nk

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  • Emerald
Posted (edited)

This journal belongs to Peter Karlsen.
Please return or discard it immediately.

 

1st page.

I'm tired of being on the move. I got everything I need really, I'm armed, got food, water, medicine... All I need is a herd. There's strength in numbers, especially if you got the good people to back it up.

These people at the coast, well... They got good hearts, a vision with what they want that town to be. I like it here. 

Sitting at the docks here is nice. The water, the rain. A thunderbolt damn nearly hit the metal shed 100 meters behind me. Good place to think. Maybe things are better this way. We all lost people, friends and family, but hey. It united some. These people at the coast, they arent just a group, they're like a family. Not literally but, well, nearly the same thing. Doesn't seem like they trust me a hundred precent yet, but it'll come with time. They gave me a purple armband and let me settle down with them, so it can only go forward from here.

What comes after this, though? Nature cleans itself back up and removes the dead? The dead takes over? Russia drops a nuke on us all? Oh wait.

Mary, though... This clinic project of hers- its ambitious for sure. It's do-able though. I'm not an expert but hey, maybe she could need a spare set of hands. We'll see. She has a good heart, though. I dunno if she will survive much longer.

And fuck you to whoever is reading this.

Edited by pl4nk
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  • Emerald

2nd page

We got fair warning of some hostile people passing through our last area, so we moved. Christ, what a hike...

This place is nice, though. We got the tent and storage building setup, even got my own place there. It's pretty relaxed and all, a bit surreal though, knowing someone lived in here before all this. Maybe it's better this way though. I think they're starting to trust me a bit more. I hope so. Sorry for fucking up the front door twice, Fredrick. I'll get some .308 for you in no time.

I miss my bass right now. I miss my dog, miss Copenhagen, miss being drunk. I discharged from the army to avoid carrying a gun for a living, now I'm carrying one for my life. Three, matter of fact. I guess this is just what it came to. I do wish I had an M4 or a weapon system like that, though.

But the town, well. We're making progress. We just gotta get some more people in, start organising patrols around the perimiter and what not. Not everyone is like-minded, and there will be blood spilled at some point. Its just a matter of time. We gotta be ready. No questions, no choices. We just fucking have to.

I walked past the playground today, while patrolling. Made me think of home. Think of Hannah... God, I wish you are okay, dear. I'm sorry me and your father can't be there with you. I wasn't planning on heading to China with the intent on never seeing you people again, and I'm sorry I left again. I made you a promise, and I broke it. Forgive me.

"Still the window burns
Time so slowly turns
And someone there is sighing!"

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  • Emerald

3rd page

We were stopped by the Anarchists... Wow. I mean, I respect the fact that they really are doing everything they can to bring their ideology forward and whatnot, but jesus christ. People are greedy. A fully communistic country will not work. Period.

Anyway... We were hit. Twice. Two. Fucking. Times. Im starting to feel like those runs to the airfield was for nothing at this point. I swear to god I heard Max talk to me up there... Fuck that airfield. Seriously.

This trip though... Jesus christ, I've damn nearly been through the entirety of Chernarus by now. Wouldn't surprise me if its just always gonna be me having to head out and get shit. It just seems like the group just... I dunno. Maybe their fire is dying out? It will be hard for all of us if we want this group to be a success, but goddamnit, everybody need to put the effort in.
 

Anyway, with that out of the way... I dunno. Maybe this just isn't gonna work? Maybe the people behind this just... I dunno, maybe they died out? The fire in their belly just isnt there anymore? If that's the case they just need to say it.

I just cant judge them yet though. I mean, shit, I havent really met any of them properly. Not yet.
I'm starting to doubt I even want to...

 

image.png.60f8c0947587eb34a4a64036bfb76326.png

I kept thinking back to this picture during that hike. That photographer, Adam... He had balls. For sure.
I wonder how he's doing. Is he alive? Dead? Turned? Some things we will just never know, I guess.

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  • Emerald
Posted (edited)

4th page

We were hit a 3rd time. They didn't take much at all, so I'm guessing it wasn't that big of a deal anyway. Anyway, I went down to Western trader with Fred and Mary... Things got out of hand, for sure. The dad jokes are giving me worse PTSD than Afghanistan, jesus christ. But hey-ho, I started it. Can't blame Freddy for being a funny guy.

20210318235509_1.jpg.8d171fad270254ddc334e7296c044a5a.jpg
*The picture above would be sketched with a pencil onto the page.*
While I was laying in that OP (Observation post), watching over the waters... I dunno. I considered 'leaving for good', so to speak. The one thing I was fighting for before, well... I can't see her anymore, I dunno how she is doing. I'm hoping I can, but lets be realistic. It's not gonna happen. I just hope you are okay... But now I don't know what I'm fighting for. Am I making a difference here? What is my goal here? Helping others? How can I help with a gun in my hands? See this, diary, this is what I tried to distance myself from. I guess the higher power believes my purpose is fighting. But what for?

I just hope the answer will come to me soon.
Oh, and Igor found a guitar... Goddamn, I missed playing. I'm a bit rusty, sure, but it's coming back to me. I dunno though, seems people got annoyed by it yesterday. We'll see.

image_2021-03-19_120321.png.a5c553f028b81a73e82568d5b3600b1f.png
*Another sketch fills the rest of the page out.*

Edited by pl4nk
Inconsistent font sizes, fixed
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  • 4 weeks later...
  • Emerald
Posted (edited)

5th page

So... It's been a while, Diary. How about a short recap then..
Black NBC people from Russia are trying to wipe out Chernarus with lethal gas. Great.
CLF disbanded. Nice.
Cordis Aido also disbanded... Bummer.
Moved into a barn right besides Mary and Freddy, chill neighbors.

And now some supernatural shit is going on and I don't know what is real anymore.
Seriously, we see what looks like Mary walking around in a fucking field... And she just ducks behind a haybale and vanishes. What the fuck????
And that... Thing, down at the barn... I just.. I don't even know what to say about it. All I can say is, I've been sitting here all night with my rifle right here beside me, and I. Cannot. Sleep.

Sure, Mary said he would never lay his hands on her like that... But I dunno. I'm having a hard time believing it. Fredrick is a nice guy, but hell... People are like onions, there's layers to people. She seemed uncomfortable and uneasy when I brought it up, and fuck me I feel terrible for it, but I just had to know, and I'm sorry, Mary. That thing just felt so real, emotionally too. It felt like a broken woman, not just some fuckin spook. I may be an adult man and all, but goddamnit, I was scared right then and there. Terrified!
Fredrick wouldn't do shit like that, I fucking refuse to believe that! That thing wasn't real for fuck sake!
And I'm having a hard time believing you, Mary. You understand?

That thing, well... It isnt real. Maybe its trying to tell us something? Maybe its trying to tell me something? That thing cried real fucking blood onto my shoulder, my shirt is still stained with that shit! And it vanished before my eyes without a fucking trace, I saw it with my own fucking eyes! I have seen human beings with their limbs blown to fucking pieces, I have killed people before in some gruesome ways, but this? This is up on the top 10 list of most fucked up things I have ever experienced.
Have I finally lost my fucking mind?!



A_War_Still.jpg.e9febafdc5e547100e1415cf67ae92c4.jpg

Goddamnit, I miss you people... It still fucks with my head that I can't see you again. I simply don't get what I have done to deserve being put into hell.
I am not the ideal human being, sure. But I fought for them, so they could stay safe. Is that not a sin you can forgive?!

And fuck off, whoever is reading this!

Edited by pl4nk
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  • 4 weeks later...
  • Emerald

6th page

Rebirthed. Fuckin' great, I got something to do now. Cordis Aido is back on their feet. Sort of. I guess.
Saw a familiar face again for the first time in a while. Felt nice. Missed you, really. Glad you are okay.
I dunno, these new faces here though... They're good and all but- I dunno. I dont really know what to think of them, what to think of it.

Seems like people are leaving me in the dark on a lot of things. Am I needed here? Should I pack my shit and leave? Where will I go? Should I, well, leave?
Why the fuck am I even writing in this thing anymore...

I've had time to think about things. Can't keep myself busy. I dunno, am I slipping up? Have I already slipped?
I feel like a lot of anger is beginning to uhh... Leak out. Maybe I'm just not built for this anymore.

Watching that guy get shot and cut up last night, I dunno... I didn't feel bad about it, per say. Is that normal? I mean, the guy was a dick but fuck me, he was a human being.
And shooting the infected, well... Either the gunpowder is getting to my head, or im bored to the point where shooting them is fun.
I don't know anymore, I'm seeing and hearing shit that's not here either, sooo... Whatever.

awar-trailerstill1.jpg.392ca9503453938a51a92dc4d5259d9a.jpg

As much as I hated it, I miss the deployments. The guys to my left and right, well... I have never been as close to anyone as with those guys. We left that camp together everyday, knowing we could get shot any second. It felt right, like I was supposed to be there. We made a difference. I miss that feeling. I just don't get that where I am now, but whatever. I guess now, that rifle isn't for making that difference, it's for survival. But what's the point in that? What's the fun in that?

The custom guitar project is almost done though. Just need the last few bits and bobs.

Okay, I'm just gonna stop being aggresive but please. Put the journal down and burn it.

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