Important Joyce Announcement

[RonnieLR]

*After hours of silence on the open frequency, your radio would spark to life if tuned in. Music blares down the airwaves resembling an Irish genre. A man's voice shortly follows as the music fades into the background.*

Spoiler

 

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
My name is Jimmy, and on behalf of my family - Us Joyces are very excited t'announce that Camp Joyce is here!"

*The Irishman pauses with excitement, the music hums over his silence as he'd take a swig of homemade whiskey.*

"For those who are unaware - Camp Joyce is somewhat of a home to us. But more importantly; we want fellow survivors to visit us to make a potential profit. We have it all here; we have a car-boot sale, caravans, piles of scrap, a FIGHT ring and even a shootin' range! Mainly our fight ring, though.

Allow me t'get back on track. We intend that our home can be used by you people t'settle your shit with others. Let's be honest, bais and gals - People are murderin' each other over the pettiest shite nowadays. Disrespect should be met with a firm arse-whoopin'. Not fucking murder. So I ask this of you all; whether you are Soup Kitchen, An Pobal, Doctor People, Cartel or any other random fuckers; you are welcome to visit our home.

So! How do ye' schedule a fight? The procedure is simple. You may contact me on my private frequency which can be given in person at t'camp and call out the person you want to fight on THIS FREQUENCY. We, the Joyces, encourage groups that share negative energy towards each other t'visit our home and use it as a ground to settle your beef toe-to-toe. We also encourage said groups to brawl in the Ring. It can be a 3v3 brawl, a 5v5 brawl or a simple one on one with t'leaders.

Spectators may place their bets on EVERY fight to earn some profit"

*Jimmy turns the music off*

"This brings me to t'more serious side of our camp. We have rules and we expect EVERY visitor t'follow them.

Rule number 1: You will NEVER reach for your guns whilst on Joyce grounds. Only my family and I may hold their weapons. You will be reminded of this rule upon arrival and should ye' fail to follow this rule - You will be shot without a second chance. The ONLY time may this be excepted is t'defend yourself from wildlife or authorised by a Joyce family member. Additionally; if you murder someone in cold blood on our grounds without our permission; not only will we kill you - But we will set a contract out to kill everyone you know and love for disrespecting our home.

Rule number 2: You do what my family fuckin' tells ya. It is our home so you will respect the residence. We won't make stupid demands, but you will oblige our requests at the Camp. Failure to do this will result in a firm beating and you being expelled from the Camp, missing out on any later events.

Rule Number 3: Those seeking refuge are welcome to the camp. We will shelter you and give you time to pay us back. You must ask before buildin' anything, also.

Rule Number 4: Any hostilities in the Camp will result in those involved fighting in the ring. People may either settle their beef diplomatically or get in the ring and fight it out. You have these two choices, otherwise; fuck off out of our camp."

Rule Number 5: You will not enter any caravan or climb on top of them. They are our homes and our property. Respect them. If you are found doin' this - You will be expelled or worse.

*Jimmy stops once more with a grunt, rolling his jaw after talking so much.*

"Fuck me.. Tha' were a mouthful. Anyways, finally; the location!

The coordinates for our home are.. Erm..

8314.80 / 5048.58? It says here? I t'ink that's it. Basically on an off-road area between Wrzeszcz and Roztoka. We hope t'see you people there.

Spoiler

If you have any questions - Reach out to me here.

Additionally; feel free to use this frequency to call out t'cunt you want to smack in our ring. We'll arrange your fight.

Guns down, gloves up. Up Joyce."

[Guest]

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Edited April 19, 2020 by Guest

[Fuhqnugget]

*You would hear an extremely nasally voice enter the radios static*

"Heh, with fighting and people come dishes. You boys need dishes washed? I-I'm a professional!"