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Winter Lianne

Poppy's Personal Journal

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A battered journal sits in Poppy's bag, adorned with slight smudges of mud and various droplets of dried crimson blood along the faded violet cover. Upon opening the cover, on the back reads a phrase in broken German along with several pen-drawn poppies and snowflakes eternally carved into the white paperboard.

Wenn Sie verloren gehen, kehren Sie zu Alice Kuhn zurück. Sie muss es wissen.
(If lost, return to Alice Kuhn. She'll need to know.)


The very first page contains a scrawled poem hastily written with a fading black ink pen

Should I ever fall in my duty
Should I ever be greatly separated
From my brothers and sisters
I shall return to the place
Where it all began
Meet me there, and we will laugh
Yes, dance and sing under the stars
The green palaces will give us warmth
And the forests around us constant game
A reservoir south a steady flow of pure water
Just north of there the river meets the sea
Civilization not far from us
But we are out of reach of them
Yes, and I will return there
May I meet you there
And may eternity bring us lasting peace
From our everlasting war within

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The writing is extremely hastily written among dried droplets staining and wrinkling the canvas paper where they fell, warping the letters.
Red crimson in the form of fingerprints adorn the farthest most edges of the page, dried but to never fade, adding bits of everlasting personalized art to the journal.

It's all my fault, they all suffered because it's my fucking fault. I should've just let the sick bastard in, but I'm too fucking stupid to say yes. Dan, Jimmy, fuck even Maggie. Oh god, she saw it all. All of it. Just silence as everyone around her took a god damn bullet, and watching Jimmy be shot in front of her? Fuck. I can't think about it. Fuck fuck FUCK! This can't keep happening I can't keep putting them in danger like this they don't deserve any of this. I'm DONE being a soldier it's only got them hurt. What if I fuck up again and they're killed? I can't take that, I don't want them dying because of my fuck-ups. 

Fuck this world and everyone in it
I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE

 

Get your shit together. Yes, it's your fault, but you can't just give up. Think of what you'd do to Alice and Maggie, Jack. Jan or anyone else wouldn't care but they would. God dammit, you got through 4 years of ROTC and OCS you can get through this. Just think about them. Think about the music. Silence for eternity? Fuck, I don't know how Maggie can do it, never hearing music. It has to feel horrible. Maybe one day she'll be able to play Jan's guitar by the vibrations, like Beethoven and his piano. I wonder what she's dreaming of.

The voices are back

Edited by Winter Lianne
Minor Issue With Colored Text / Typo Corrections

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