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Server time: 2019-02-20, 06:22 WE ARE RECRUITING
Khandra Myska
Character information
  1. Alias
    Little Moon, Jesus, The Lamb
  2. Mental
    Paranoid
  3. Morale
    Low
  4. Date of birth
    1998-01-31 (21 years old)
  5. Place of birth
    Berezino
  6. Nationality
    Chernarussian
  7. Languages
    Chernarussian, English, German
  8. Relationship
    Nobodys fucking business but my own...
  9. Family
    Assumed dead
  10. Religion
    None

Description

  1. Height
    156 cm
  2. Weight
    50 kg
  3. Build
    Athletic
  4. Hair
    Brown
  5. Eyes
    blue - greenish
  6. Alignment
    True Neutral
  7. Occupation
    Student

Background

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- Quietness / Calmness -
- Listening to music -
- Her cat "Leila" -
- Being with her new friends -
- Art -
- Honesty - 

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- Her stuttering -
- Her "problems" - 
- Bullies -
- Scary things -
- Bacteria, germs -
- Sick people -
- Liars -
- Crowded places -
- Prejudice -


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Tattoos:

- A little cat on her right shoulder - 
 

Injuries:

- A freshly carved "S" on her left arm - 
 

Scars:

- Several cuttings/bite scars on her arms, older and newer one's -
- 2 burn scars on both upper arms -
- 1 cutting in her palm -
- Lost left pinky finger & missing the whole bone making her hand end at her ringfinger -

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Patient File 1

Patient arrived here very disorientated, confused and with injuries on both arms. She talks to herself and doesn't seem to be able to concentrate on a normal conversation most of the time. It is very difficult to get any information out of her. She is extremely paranoid and doesn't want to talk to the staff since she doesn't trust them and thinks that they are after her. Another problem is that she doesn't want to realize that she is actually sick. We will try different medication trying to see what will might help her. The parents seem to be worried but also scared of her since they don't understand what happens to their daughter. On the first sight they seemed glad that she stays here now, for one or another reason. We have to get her trust to get more information about the patient. Parents told us that they recently came back to Chernarus from Germany, where they lived most of her life. Apparently her grandmother is very sick and the family came back to their home country. 

Patient File 2

Patient doesn't respond well to the medication yet so we will have to search for a better fitting one. The situation is still the same than before and the patient refuses to talk to us. The only creature, when you can even call it that, is her cat "Leila". When she talks it is very apparent that she can't control her stutter and that she seemingly gets frustrated with it. From time to time she seems to talk to other patients as well but that is a rare occurrence, since most of the time she speaks to herself. She also seems to be very paranoid about all kind of germs since she has panic attacks on a regular basis every time someone enters her room for example. She seems to have delusions and hallucinations, both audible and things she sees that are not real. Some of the hallucinations are helping her and some of them are hurting her or making her paranoid and anxious. I have the feeling that with a bit of time that I can get her trust at some point.

Patient File 3

Patient fled when she had time in the backyard. We have no clue how she escaped over the wall but she did. At least that is what we think. She will probably not survive long on her own as long nobody takes care of her. We informed the police and we hope they find her and bring her back so we can continue her therapy.

 

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Spoiler

I met Alice the first time with Lissa and the others. She was quiet and didn't say much and she seemed to not trust anyone really. Especially man. I didn't understand why till she later on told me. She didn't seem to want to be close to anyone. I think she was afraid to trust or to lose the people again. I thought she was cute, right from the beginning but I don't think I would have ever told her. Leila said right away that she liked her though and I normally trust Leila since she is a wise cat usually. I didn't had that much confidence back then though. 

I liked how strong she seemed to be and that she was not afraid to say what was on her mind. I also liked her cute little giggles. I actually thought at the beginning that she doesn't like me but when I think about it, it was probably just her being very quiet. We spend a lot of time together with the group and she tried to help me and comfort me. She was concerned when she saw my scars on my arms and I think she thought I did that myself even though I didn't. She was always there for me and I started to see her than more as a friend. I made a few comments about how she looks good in her jeans and I think I made her uncomfortable. I felt so bad later on when she told me about her dark past.

At some point I remember it really good that I asked Red for help. I didn't wanted to be afraid anymore and I asked him how I can be stronger and fearless and how I can be a warrior. Red told me that it will be painful and I think Alice was concerned but she let me have my wish and I was happy. That day she kissed me in the forest. I... I was so happy. I felt my cheeks turn red and hot. That's what I always imagined it would be. After Red's training, she broker her ankle and I was really worried. I brought her supplies every few days and I was sad that she couldn't hang out with us. After I got captured by Daniel I understood her even more. I think it made us closer. Maybe Elly is right in the end that we have to make same experiences to feel closer to each other. I am not sure... the only thing I do know is, that I love her deeply. She accepts me how I am. She accepts my cat, Leila, even though she says that she can't see her. And she accepts that I am different and might freak out over something. 

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Spoiler

I met Elly the first time in Gorka and I instantly felt connected to her. She didn't judge me even though I was clearly different than others. We met a noun and a few other people in town and at some point they put us in a trailer cause they didn't trust us at all. It was kinda scary back then when I look back I was afraid of many things. I had the feeling that most of the people in Gorka liked her but not me, cause some of them called me crazy and a lunatic. I know how upset I felt but I didn't say a word. She tried to comfort me and Leila said that she really liked her and that we should stick with her. I remember that clearly. After that experience with those people there I lost her for a few months. I found her again when I was with Lissa, Alice and the others. I was happy to see her again and we talked more and more. She never told me that I was sick or crazy and we had our "sister talks". We slowly began to see each other as sisters.

We always go on adventures together and we see each other as equals. I respect her choices and she respects my choices. I don't patronize her and she doesn't patronize me and I think that is one of the reasons why we click so good together. Cause all of our lives we both got patronized by different people who told us that we can't make our own decisions. That day when we went for the first time on a walk together we promised each other to always tell the truth and we told each other our secrets.

Her real name is Penny. I saw her ID. Later on I found out that there is a rule she follows. Elly is the one who has fun and is happy and full of live. Penny is the one who is hurt, with a dark past. The one who got hurt and only comes out when something really bad is happening, so Elly doesn't have to experience something bad. I understand, I think. Every day I learn something new about her. She said that it is good when you make the same experiences than your other family members, cause then you feel closer to them. After the experience with Daniel I guess I kinda agree with her. I did feel closer to Alice. She is a smart kid. When we very chased by cannibals and one of the house member interrogated the potential cannibal in the church, she helped them interrogate the man. I was impressed, since I wouldn't have known what to do. She is so much more than she shows to most of the people we meet. I wonder if I will ever be able to figure her out completely. Leila loves her and so do I. When it comes hard to hard I would catch a bullet for her. 

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Spoiler

Red... my loved brother Red. I think he disliked me in the beginning. I think I annoyed him with my constant fear of anything. Later on he told me that he always had a plan to murder the people around him, just in case. I guess at that point I wasn't even surprised about it. I met him together with Lissa and the others in Novodmitrovsk. Alice jumped the gun on him instantly and they had a little fight but in the end he came with us. He didn't speak for the first few weeks and I didn't understand why. We all thought he couldn't speak but in the end he told us that he chose not to speak since he always manipulates the people around him.

He grew close to me every day that passed. When Braxton killed that chicken in front of me even though he promised me one day before he wouldn't, I was so upset and mad at him that I cried. I ran to Red and told him what he did and Red defended me and punched Braxton out. Never ever was anyone standing up for me in that way. That is what I wished for my real brother. I always hoped he would do that one day for me but he didn't. That day, despite the chicken incident, I was so happy since I felt that I could have that big brother I always wanted. He promised me afterwards to train me in shooting even though the whole group of Lissa were against it and he told me that he will train me when I try the medicine. I wasn't a real fan of medicine ever since the asylum experience but in end I did take it after hearing Red's past. He had a girlfriend with similar problems and he now tried to help me. The medicine didn't work and in the end I felt even worse than before. I attacked Red and tried stabbing him since apparently I believed that it was no him and that he got replaced by someone else. And still... even after I tried to murder him he was still sticking to me. Leila told me that everything would be fine and that we have to stick with him. Leila also told me that I should ask him how I could become a warrior and so I did. He promised me that he would train me of how to become a warrior but he also said it would be a painful experience. I wanted it so badly that I didn't questioned him. I just wanted to be a warrior.
Red and Lissa's group were falling out more and more and in the end Red left. As his little sister I had to follow him.  Shortly after my training began.

I had to do some physically training every day till I passed out on the ground, exhausted. I as running every day and he motivated me to never, ever give up. He explained to me how to withstand torture and he taught me how to defend myself in close combat. He trained me how to shoot a different kinds of guns. Pistols, shotguns, rifles. He told me that he has plans of murder for every person he meets, just in case. He taught me how to lie, cause it could safe my life one day. "Every good lie, has a grain of truth in it.", He said. He has many different rules he lives by and I hope someday I heard them all. I asked him what his plan was for me, when he though of murdering me when we first met. He told me that he would have put something in my food and that he would torture me in a shed for days before killing me. A little bit later I saw him putting on a mask and I got dizzy. I woke up in that said shed with my hands bound to the ceiling, hanging.

He tortured me for days. I feared for my life and I drifted in and out of consciousness while he tortured me. First of all he made me believe that he wasn't real. That I murdered him back then in the fields. Later on he made me believe that he never was my brother and that he just waited for the right moment to kill me. He made me believe that he killed Alice and Ellie. He showed me the blood of them. He waterboarded me and pushed my head into water. I remember passing out cause I couldn't breath. I passed out so many times that I lost count of it. I couldn't even tell how many days I was in that shed. I gave up in the middle and he went one step further, binding me to the table and pulling of my toe nails very slowly. I screamed in pain and suddenly I remembered again what he taught me beforehand. I got my will to live back and I broke out of the handcuffs. I grabbed the pistol he wanted to use to shoot me and when he came back I leaned against the wall pulling the trigger but the mag was empty. He pulled off his mask and told me, "Now ... you are free of fears... now you're a warrior. It is over." I was in shock, my body shaking and trembling. He gave me the biggest hug but I couldn't understand what just happened. He carried me upstairs to Ellie, who was sick with chickenpox and we made a plan to make it look like someone else had tortured me. He shot himself and when I wanted to I could have let him bleed out after what he did to me. But in that moment I think, I forgave him for what he did. In that moment I realized that he did it for me and that even now, he still trusts me with his life. I took care of his wounds. In that moment I learned that it is okay to put someone through pain, when it is necessary. In the end the only thing that counts is why he did it. And he did it cause of a good reason. He did it to make me strong. I ... felt happy. Even though I went through all the pain and fear... I felt happy and stronger than I was before. My will to live was never stronger. I love you brother. I always will. 

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Spoiler

Leila, my cute little red cat. Since I read "Alice in Wonderland" the first time I wanted a cat. My parents never allowed me to have any pets since they said they wouldn't trust me with any pets. They didn't trust me with anything. They said that I can't even take care of myself so I would never be able to take care of a cat. I wanted one so desperately. I remember it clear to this day when we first met. We visited our grandparent's farm near Berezino and I was playing outside with the chickens. They were so cute. I loved them.

And when I looked around the fields I saw you sitting there and looking at me curiously. I walked up to you slowly cause I didn't wanted to scare you away and I sat down on the grass reaching out with my hand, petting you. It looked as if you were smiling at me when you softly spoke suddenly. "I came here cause we belong together. You and me. I know you don't have any friends but now I am here for you."In the moment I was so happy since I always wanted a cat. I played and talked to her whenever she showed up again. She told me that she loves her freedom and I accepted that. My brother and sister made fun of me that I talked to a cat. What do they know anyway? They were never interested in me anyway. Besides Leila didn't like them anyway. She said that they were just jealous cause I got her and they didn't had a pet. So many people told me that she is not real but they are either lying or they don't know what they are talking about. Leila is as real as everyone else.

After a while I got more and more isolated than I was before. I didn't went to school anymore at some point cause my parents got constantly rid of me in hospitals. I hated it. Nobody seemed to believe me when I told them about Leila and other things. Everyone told me that something is wrong with me. The only creature that understood me was her. My cute little red cat. I was upset with all my scars I had on my body from fighting all the demons and tress that were attacking me but Leila was there for me. "Scars just shows that you are on the way to become a warrior.", She said and that made me happy again. Whenever I need to talk to someone or I need advice I go to her. She is the best and I love her so much. With everyone against me, I needed her so much. And even now with all my friends and family I have now, I still need her. 

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Spoiler

The first time I met Mr. War was in between Stary Sobor and Kabanino. I was travelling with Cecilia and Brody I believe. Brody kept yelling at Mr. War that he branded him and kept arguing about it. I was slightly confused about Brody's behavior since he didn't seem to let go off the topic. I didn't understand why he didn't just walk away. Leila told me to investigate and so I did. Brody told me to stay away from Mr. War but Leila and me were curious. So we met him again in Kabanino and talked briefly for a little bit. I guess I also wanted to find out what really happened with Brody since I didn't trusted his word really. A day later I met him again I saw him running over the fields to Vybor and I guess I saw my chance to talk to him alone. Leila was excited to meet him as well.

In Vybor we finally could talk alone. Leila and me were instantly hooked listening to his explanations. Just the way he talks was fascinating to both of us. After hearing his reasoning for Brody's branding I understood why they did it. I thought back to my own lesson my brother Red gave me to better myself, to change and I didn't understand why Brody was so angry about a simple wound on his hand. As Mr. War explained his ways he started to explain that they are so many connections between us and there was no arguing about it, there were connections. He is one of the only one's who doesn't think that I am sick. I was happy. Really happy. He doesn't think at all that something is wrong with me and said that everyone else is just wrong and doesn't see the bigger picture. We both hear the trees talk and the wind whispers. And I think that is why we connected so good. I guess I just felt close to him ... since I had the feeling that he was like me. We talked for hours and hours and hours and I just didn't had the feeling I have to be different around him. It just seemed that he saw so much more in me than I saw in myself.

My brother and many others always questioned my friendship with the horsemen and if I believed them what they said. Why wouldn't I believe them? Nobody can prove to me that they are not the horsemen. Why can't they be the horsemen? Why does everyone have to tell me what I can believe and what not? Why does everyone think that their reality is the right one? For me... and that is the important thing... for me only counts what I think and I believe them. I feel free when I am with them. The question is... when they can be the horsemen... why can't I be the lamb? Maybe I am. Nobody can tell me what I can or cannot be. I grow more and more fond to the idea that I am. 

We met on a daily basis and I introduced them to my other friends. And Mr. War introduced me to Mr. Pestilence and Mr. Conquest. I enjoy all their company and they are all special in their own ways. I enjoy sharing my chocolate with Mr. Conquest. He seems to be the only one who cares for those things. Even though I try to get Mr. War enjoy those little things too but I guess it is not for him. Maybe one day. Mr. Conquest also knows how to play Rock, Paper, Scissor. As soon as I wanted to play with them Mr. War dropped a bunch of paper and said he won and Mr. Pestilence ran off to get a huge stone. I laughed and I turn around to Mr. Conquest and I asked him if he knew how to play and he actually seemed amused and said yes. Then I asked him if he would tell the others and he shook his head and said no. He is funny. I like that. Leila likes all of them and she always tells me that it was her idea to get to know them. That is why she is the best cat. When Mr. Pestilence came back he had a huge car door brought back as his contribution for rock, pack, scissor and I giggled. I really like playing games with them.

I noticed how attached I became to "my" horsemen. I can't even say when I saw them as part of my family. It just happened. I love them... all of them. I would miss them when they wouldn't be around. And even though Mr. War said they would come back when their vessel died. I don't want that to happen. All those memories... I don't want them to be gone for them. It is not the same so I will protect them till the end. And as my brother Red always said... family comes first. And even when they wouldn't see me as family. It wouldn't change a thing to me. Besides Mr. War already admitted of loving me as a family. It made me happy. I think he changed slightly since he never talked about feelings before and I could have sworn I saw care in his eyes for me down in Electro.

I hope that Mr. Pestilence and Mr. Conquest are more often there too. They seem to have a lot of missions far away and sometimes I wonder what they are doing when they are not around. I know one thing for sure. Mr. Pestilence hates chickens and even though he kills them whenever he sees them I can't even be mad at him. Even though I for sure love chickens. They are so cute with their little wings and their little eyes and they flap around with their little wings. Anyway. It is what I always said to my brother. Family doesn't judge so I don't judge him for hating chickens. That is what family is about.I just wanna spend more time with all of them and I will do everything to protect my horsemen.

Here are a few drawings I made for them. I love to draw but I am not sure if they care about those kind of things, probably not since they all don't seem to care about any belongings. Even though Mr. War told me that he also kept the red coat I gifted to him. Maybe I will show it to them. 

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Spoiler

I know Cecilia for a long time now and she is the best friend I never had before. I never really had any friends, besides of Leila of course, in my past before everything went to shit and so I always imagined how it would be. I don't have to wonder anymore since I have her. I have the feeling I can talk to her about everything and she wouldn't judge. I don't even know when it all started that I saw her like that. All that matters that it is I guess.

She always hangs around with Morgun and Brody. I really like Morgun and I actually thought at the beginning that they had a thing going on but I guess I was wrong since she told me recently that she was together with someone from the Free Territory. I am not sure what I think about that and I don't think she knows what they did in the past. I think I have to talk to her abut it at some point but then again she is my best friend... I want her to be happy. I still wished she would have decided for Morgun instead for a russian from the Free Territory. And Brody... I don't even wanna get started. I just hate liars so much and he lies constantly just so he stays in a better light.

Cecilia and me went through many things and I just hope that it will stay like that. I am scared though to lose her. So many bad people out there and so many people that hate the russians. As soon as people know that she is with Yiri? Yuri? or something they will come after her and I don't know how to protect her. She is such a sweet girl. She deserves the best and happiness in her life. 

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Spoiler

I met Max for the first time in Grishino together with Hayden's people not that long ago but I consider him a good friend. He was sitting at the fire and he asked me if I could watch it for him. He seems to be a good person and always on the search for medical supplies and on the search for new patients. I like to hang out with him and talk to him. Since I had problems with my hand he was looking over it again. I watched him now several times and he really seems to be a great medic. 

He was hanging out with me and the horsemen the other day. Mainly with Mr. War and they both had a good conversation I guess. Even though I think that Max doesn't believe him at all he seemed to like Mr. War and that made me happy. I am not sure if I freaked him out or not but I know that I was talking to myself and he went up ahead. I don't know if I should be worried about it or not but it seemed that I might have freaked him out.

He also helped Morgun the other day and I greatly appreciate it. It didn't look good at the beginning but he saved his life. I am sure about that. I wonder what else I get to know about him. I guess time will tell in the end. 

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Spoiler

Thomas is always a good friend to me. He always cheers me up with how he is. I first met him near Stary Sobor and I think people judge him for some reason, since he seems a little bit different than other people. I felt the need to step in since I know how it is to deal with people who are judgemental. I like the way the speaks and how caring her is but I guess not everyone can see that cause some people are blind to the obvious.

He also seems to accept me how I am and when he heard that I was injured he didn't let it go and wanted to help me. It made me happy and I appreciate it. I hope someday I can help him too. I always like seeing him and I just wish I would see him more often and get to know him better. Leila says that people judge him like people judged me before in my past, so I wanna be a good friend to him.


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Spoiler
  • After she escaped from the Asylum she runs away and lived for the street for a while, visiting occasionally her grandparents. 
  • Her parents and siblings assumingly die in the chaos of the outbreak.
  • She meets a nurse, with the name of Lilly, and she takes care of her for many months till at some point Lilly doesn't show up anymore and she tries to survive on her own.
  • Her delusions and illusions and hallucinations are quite strong and change in nature all the time depending on her experiences with her surrondings.
  • After a while she meets Wyatt and Lissa and the others. The Unnamed are founded.
  • She finds a family and friends with them. She fell in love with Allison.
  • Conflicts in the group leads to her sticking with Red, who left the group.
  • Red, which she sees as brother,  trains her to be strong.
  • She gets tortured in a shed for days and days, believing it was atleast 20-30 days. She passed out 17 times till she finally escaped and tried shooting her brother.
  • Red shoots himself and Khandra forgives him after he explained his reasonings.
  • She overcame her fear of the trees and other things since she faced death and came to peace with it. She thinks of herself to be strong now. 
  • Delusions/Hallucination still present but she tries to cope better. 
  • Her stuttering became better after training with her brother Red.
  • She makes a lot of friends; Cecilia, Brody, Jack, The Horsemen, Fred, Morgun, Rex ... ❤️ 
  • She gets captured by a bunch of doctors, by the district and by the mexicans.
  • Red brings Ellie and Khandra to Cerna Liska but both girls are not comfortable
  • She gets closer to War and the other horsemen and sees them as family.
  • War and Khandra spend some time in Electro in the settlement.
  • Red spends more and more time with Liska while Ellie and Khandra doing their own thing.
  • Ellie and Brody have a fight, cause Brody stole from Ellie and lies about it, telling Khandra that Ellie is a liar.
  • She becomes friends with Hayden and her people. ❤️
  • Ellie and Khandra gets captured by "Daniel", Red saves them in the end and Khandra kills him with her mosin. Result being that she is uncomfortable with most men.
  • Khandra gets captured by Peter, who cut off her left pinky finger and beat her up pretty badly. The wound gets infected and in the end Red takes off 1/3 of her hand, meaning her hand ends at her ringfinger, since he takes off the whole bone from the pinky finger.
  • After being captured by Peter, she gets captured by Jack Warren and enslaved. She was marked with the "Broker Symbol" on her right forearm but she later on burnt it away.
  • She re-unites with the horsemen after Mr. War got shot from Brody. She is happy that he told her that he loved her as a family.

 


8 Comments


This...this i like...almost makes me wanna come back and play to meet her

 

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I really like that character. I am glad I met her before I have read this <3

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