Fuck me, this life that I live is so fucking stupid... I'm a smart kid... I honestly don't know why I do what I do... In school I was always being the class clown, just to make my friends laugh and impress the girls, but when all of this is over and I'm back to my regular self, what have I got? Nothing. School for me... It's fun I ain't going to lie, we've got everyone here from the posh girls to the roadmen... Mixing these two together was fucking hilarious... I'm not going to lie. I've had a fair bit of em... There's two types of slags... There are the ugly ones that will fuck anyone, then there's the fucking perfect slags that only go with the roadmen and the gangsters
I'm Just the same sad fucker I always will be... It's funny how everyone think's I'm fine but truth be told, I'm fucked. I've got issues, psychologically of course, I get paranoid for no reason at all... And when there is a reason, fuck me I feel like I'm going to pass out at any moment. The way it happens is, it's hard to explain... When all the paranoia, and anxiety get's to you, it's like a shock goes down your body... You begin to sweat and become hot as fuck... It's fucking horrible. It's the worst feeling I've ever experienced, and I've been fucking stabbed and slashed…
All of this though, you've got to hide it. You've got to hide it to survive out here in these streets. If someone see's a weakness they'll jump on you... That's why I've got this sort of like... Front I guess you'd call it, this hard lad front... My younger brother isn't the same as me, I can tell... I guess he looks up to me. He's not the same as me though... See, my brother he, he wouldn't hurt anyone... Unlike me. I've rushed, robbed... held people at knife point... All that shit. I never thought I was a gangster... I just, I didn't enjoy it... I just, did it because of jealousy... They had something and I didn't, I got it... One way or another. I never wanted my brother to follow the path I went down, he's only a year younger than me... Thank fuck he didn't go down the same path as me. Don't get me wrong, my brother ain't no bitch or anything, but he isn't a thug either... He's got edge about him. I love the kid to bits... I don't show it... But I do.. I really fucking do.
The only people that know about my mental issues are my close friends and family... I had a fear they'd treat me differently... And they did... They really did. Ever little sign of emotion I'd show, they'd always question it. " Are you okay Mikey? " " Is something the matter Mikey? Should I call someone? " All of this made me feel, not normal...
Don't get it twisted though, I ain't no bitch... My mental health problems don't stop me from holding down the blocks or robbing people. That was just the life I was given. I didn't do it because I wanted to, I did it because I had too. The thing is though, I thought I was a bad person, honestly... I didn't feel guilt after a while, or sympathy, and eventually, sadness. I was just emotionless, I didn't care. A few of my boys said I should become a mercenary when I grow up, I just laughed it off but deep down inside, I thought It'd be a good path, a ruthless... Emotionless.... Killer.
The estate I represented was one of the hardest in London, it really fucking was. Drug Dealers, Rapists, Pedophiles, Grime Artists, Swat Teams, Gun Runners... We have it all on this estate... The slags were all about, no issues on getting your dick wet... No one left this estate... No one came through either, they'd get killed if they did. If you wasn't from around here, you'd get fucking rolled on straight up. I didn't care about this though, myself and my family are alright, we've lived here all our lives. I knew these streets like the back of my hand, every back alley... Every single turn, I knew it. This made it so much easier for robbing people, running from police... All that shit. Like I said, I didn't do it because I wanted too... I did it because I had too.... I had the mentality that it was just your circle against everyone else.... It was you against them... It's a madness.
I remember this one time uh... I walked out of the school gates and two lads I knew were standing there waiting for my boy... I foolishly tagged along with em to go get the bus... Boy what a fucking mistake that was... As we're walking down the street with all the other kids from my school, I heard one of the lads say " Hold on, ain't that the guy you've got beef with? " and it was... Of course it fucking was. Next thing I knew these two lads are sprinting down this fucking street after this lad... Two sixteen year old lads... Running as fast as they could towards this one lad. They gripped him up against this wall and beat the living fucking shit out of him... Legit beat this lad too a fucking pulp, and me and my boy just stood there and watched, to be honest I didn't really like the guy they were beating the fuck out of anyways, I suppose in a way I was happy it happened. The lad they were twatting was a right fucking cunt if I'm honest, thought he was this big time drug dealer.... Thought he was hard as fucking nails, always used to try and step to me to show off in front of his mates. Truth be told I just ignored the cunt, he wasn't worth my time at all. He was about 5'7 and I was about 6'0 at the time..... Let it be known if he ever tried it with me I would've sat him down their and then but... Fuck it I was just trying to keep the peace, I didn't need more beef in my life at that point... See if I did twat the cunt, It'd just be another area of London I couldn't walk into... Another post code I could never walk on, ever again.
The thing was though, I was good at one thing in school, that was Product Design.... I was good at it, give me a piece of wood and a few nails and I could probably build you a bird house, no word of a lie. I didn't peruse this as a career, I always knew that I wasn't going to amount to nothing. Probably just another drug dealer, yeah that was me... Good old fucking Mikey, he'll do anything for a bag of weed or 50 notes.
Location: A Club In Chernarus, 10:03PM
After a few days in Chernarus, I realised how dead it actually was… I don’t know why I came on this school trip, year 10’s and 11’s…. Who the fuck takes a trip like this? Chernarus… Couldn’t be fuckin’ Greece or something could it? No… Fucking Chernarus… I had my Brother with me though, so that was something…. While he and the rest of the school was asleep, I went out. Just me… I wanted to see the club scene out here… Damn I found a club.
I got into this club somehow, just a bunch of techno songs banging like crazy, it boomed through the room like a rocket. I decided to walk over to the bar and get a drink and have a smoke. As I put this fag in my mouth I tried sparking it up… No lighter fluid, fuck… I turned to the nearest person and there she was, this like, 20 year old chick… I forget her name now, I think her name was like Ana or something, anyways she gave me a light and it was all good. After around half an hour… I needed a piss real bad, so I went for a piss, leaving my beer on the side of the bar. I finished my piss, and went back over and saw Ana talking to some guy, I didn’t think anything of it, I didn’t know the chick, and to be honest I didn’t really care, like at all… I just walked over to grab my beer, down it and get the fuck out of here, but then… I saw something…
This geez that Ana was speaking too, slipped something into her drink, I don’t know why I did what I did to be honest, I guess I just wanted to be a good samaritan for a change… As soon as I saw this, I grabbed my beer and walked behind him, he didn’t know I saw what he did… It seems like no one else did see it either. As soon as I got the chance I glassed the cunt, he flopped down and fell to the floor. Everyone was staring at me…
I walked over to the bar, grabbed the drink that she had and poured it on the floor, and grabbed his drink and poured it over his head… I said the following words to Ana before I walked out of this club
“ Next time, watch your drink… Who know’s you could get spiked again…. “
I walked back to the hotel, and climbed into bed, and fell asleep.
Location: Hotel Room, 6:43AM
I woke up that morning after the whole incident in my bed at the hotel, I looked up to see my brother fast asleep on the other side of the room, fucking deep sleeper. I could hear people goin’ crazy in the hotel rooms and stuff, I thought nothing of it to be honest…. Just some smack head or some pissed up lad…. I just got up and got in the shower. I turned it on… No fucking hot water, what a shit hole this is… I walked back into the bedroom and stuck some Lynx and stuck on a shirt, Adidas jacket and Armani Jeans… And then put on my Air Max 90’s… Ready for the day I suppose.
I had always carried a knife around with me in the UK… I wasn’t going to bring one through the airport security, fuck that. I just gripped the first one I saw in this country, a Kitchen blade… Better than nothing. I slipped that down the back of my pants and covered it with my jacket, sorted. I stashed it in my suitcase, and trust me, no fucker is getting in there.
I walked out my hotel room, ready for whatever the fuck the teachers had planned for us to do.. Probably some boring ass castle shit I don’t know… Anyways, everyone was talking about the Russians and Chernarussians kicking off.. Apparently bombs were dropped on some facility by the russians or something like that I don’t fuckin’ know… Apparently people were goin’ crazy outside and shit, the hotel was locked up fucking tight. Armed gaurds and shit out front… What the fuck is going on?
I was having none of this, I was going home… Fuck this school trip. I ran back to the hotel room and woke my brother up… Told him to pack up his shit, he did just that. I was deadly serious… I was already packed up… I decided to calm down…. I would be to bait if I was freaking the fuck out, so I lit up a cigarette and calmed down… I decided to make a plan… I told my brother to put on dark colours… So did I. We were on the first floor of the hotel, which means we could be quick, but the entrances were guarded… Apart from one… The Fire Door… Only issue with this is that as soon as that door opens, the fire alarm goes off…
I walked back out of my hotel room, and looked for a fire alarm and I saw one… Just above a desk, where a guard was sitting… I saw a pistol on the desk and a rifle in his hand… I knew I wanted that pistol, something told me I would need it… I needed to find some way of getting it… Then it hit me, it was so simple.
I walked over to the guard, and asked him where the toilets where… As he stood up to point me in the direction, I quickly grabbed the pistol and slipped it into my pockets… Fuckin’ guard… Stupid as shit.
I could not believe I now had a pistol in my possession, I hoped to god it was full, I mean sure I don’t know how to use it but… How hard can it be right? Cock the gun back, pull the trigger, easily enough done. Hearing about these people going crazy, I wasn’t taking any chances, I’d kill them on the spot if they came near myself or my brother.
I walked in to find my brother with a backpack on him, and his suitcase on the floor, he had only packed some stuff he needed, the rest he could leave… Smart, light on his feet… I did the exact same. Without hesitation, I told him to follow me and slung the backpack over my shoulder, I walked out of the hotel room to find the nearest fire alarm… I found one, and when no one was looking, boom… Smashed it. Next thing I knew the alarm sounded, it was loud as fuck… Now was our chance, we both sprinted towards the fire door before anyone else could get to it and burst out…. Brilliant plan of mine I guess….
I stood in shock for a moment as I stared at what was happening… Cars on fire, people screaming, all sorts of shit… Crazy fuckin’ stuff… Most of them were just looters… I took the gun out of my pocket and cocked it, my brother didn’t say a word… I guess he knew that we needed this gun to protect ourselves…. Least he didn’t question it..
Luckily the airport was about 10mins away on foot, so we headed over there… As we walked in, the place was full on packed out full of tourists trying to get out… But guess what… Guess fucking what… No planes were allowed to take off or come in. So we were pretty much fucked from the start… The staff were assuring that people we’re coming to help us, but I knew in the that they were lying, no fucker was coming…
Location: A Back street in the city, 9:03AM
That’s it, we were fucked… 100% fucked, no way to get back to the UK… I could always go back to the hotel, but fuck that… I’d get prison time for possession of a weapon, theft and breaking out… I wasn’t about that at all….
After talking to my brother about it, we realised that we needed to stay somewhere… We needed somewhere to get our heads together… My first thought was the abandoned house we saw an hour away from the Hotel… I think that’s the best option… So did my brother, so that’s what we did… We set off around 10 minutes later….
Location: Old abandoned house, 10:06AM
As we walked into the house, I noticed the house it was… In alright condition, I’m not going to lie… It was, surprisingly clean and stuff like that. I looked around, you can tell it was abandoned, smashed windows and all that sorta shit. It had two rooms, and the second room had two beds in it, a closet and a few lights and stuff… Obviously the electricity was out, the main room had a table, and a few storage cabinets, nothing too serious… No TV or nothin’ like that, crazy.
While my brother unpacked his stuff, I decided to look for a key, I saw one key on the table, and turns out, luck was on our side, it was the front door key. Sorted. I walked in to see my brother laying on his bed having a go on my vape, bless him… I could tell he was stressed, but you know, I ain’t trying to blow our own trumpets, but we’re not bitches, either one of us… That’s god's honest truth about us.
After this, I got my backpack and put it on the table in the main room, I decided to get a plan sorted out, I had a few things in this backpack… my phone, my phone charger, a map of the country, the pistol I stole from the guard, a few pre-rolled rollies, my tray(with cigarette stuff in it), a kitchen knife, a small baseball bat, a pad and pen and a few other bits and pieces… Not a lot, but it’s something.
I spotted a few apple trees and a water pump down the road so I guess we were okay for food for now, but we needed a plan, 100%. I decided to write down a bullet point of potential plans we could execute…
Find some locals to tag along with
Return to the hotel (Last Resort)
Rob someone for their car (Optional)
Find a plane (fucking impossible)
Look for Ana ..
Sit and wait…
So many choices…
One thing is for sure though,
I don’t plan on staying here very long….