TODAY | 2023-03-30 19:30:00 (server time) | Starts in 16 hours, 24 minutes
Date of birth1998-01-26 (25 years old)
Place of birthMobile, Alabama
NationalityUS of motherfucking A!!!
BuildA beer gut so solid you could bounce a quarter off of
HairThe upmost groomed mullet known to mankind
Keith Suburban was born in 1998 out of Mobile, Alabama in the parking lot of a Kroger's Supermarket. He was known as the the blonde Jesus because as he can rolling out of his mothers womb he was greeted by a patch of freshly cut grass that looked like the hay from the manger. Keith was the kind of kid who smoke Marlboro reds starting filter first and used Grizzly Wintergreen as breath refreshers. At the age of 10 Keith had already robbed 17 liquor stores and 6 Walmarts. Keith was slightly troubled and always sought attention due to the fact that his father was never around and his mother had to work the corner just to keep the lights on in the family home. Once Keith turned 15 he had been locked up for stabbing his father one night that Poppa Suburban came home drunk and beat Keith's mother. Now Keith was only upset about this because it was his week to kick her ass. Keith was finally released from prison after serving all his time in 2020. After only a few short months of being a free man Keith decided to rob a CVS where while during his frantic escape he ran over 7 pedestrians and a pigeon. Keith while fleeing the scene of the hit and runs crashes his 1986 bright orange El Camino into a Coors Light truck. Beer everywhere and Keith in a state of panic, grabs his money and 2 cases of beer from off the ground and locks eyes with the most outstanding jet black mullet that could put even Billy Ray Cyrus in a state of shock. The epic jet black mullet man introduces himself as Larry by screaming " heyyyyyyyyyy!! get in!!!!!! " Keith and Larry quickly load up Larry's 1986 lime green El Camino with cases of Coors Light. Twas only fate that brought these two mullet wearing El Camino driving badasses together. Larry and Keith then drive off blaring ACDC so loud that their ears start to bleed. After a few weeks of the most epic parties known to man Larry decides to sell his El Camino to get money to flee the country. Larry and Keith decide to drive to Brunswick, GA to hop aboard a container ship in order to avoid the troubles of airport security. The ship makes landfall in Oslo, Norway a week later. They set off using whatever means of transportation they could steal, exploring this strange new country. Within months of them arriving the AVM-FLA-19 pandemic struck, limiting all travel and putting restrictions on movement. Larry and Keith camped out in a pull behind trailer somewhere near a place called Nyheim, waiting for the pandemic to die down, which never happened. Now they are out and about again, just trying to survive.
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