I was raised by a single mother in a small town, just outside of Austin Texas. Looking back now, there wasn't a whole lot to do there, but I did my best to make the most of it with my (as mom used to say) unparalleled imagination. After school, me and the neighbor boys were constantly waging wars against the local townsfolk with my dog Rusty (may god rest his soul and curse the drunk who ran him over) and my trusty BB gun. Living near open fields and little danger (aside from the occasional coyote) I quickly learned my way around the outdoors. Ma' always said I was quite the little desert ranger, especially when I'd come home covered in mud with my jeans torn up and my hat on crooked (course non of that mattered, once I found out the days of cowboys and Indians had long since past). Once I finally got out of school, I worked on a farm as a ranch hand and met my current and most trusted friend, Wyatt Morgan. It was hard work, but we made a decent living. Still, spent most nights at the local bar, wishing we were somewhere else though. That was until the place we worked finally got bought out by the corporations, just like all the others. Ended up loosing our jobs to a bunch of immigrants. I got nothing against them, or least that's what I try to tell myself, but I've got no idea how they get by with working for just a few cents an hour. After that though, I would have done anything to get that old job back. Guess it's true about what they say: "You don't know how good you got it until it's gone." Especially when the only option you have left is to work at a damn Best Buy. Sure you don't gotta compete with the boys from down south there, but I'll be damned if standing around selling electronics all day isn't the worst job in the world. Least the boys down an the MacDonalds get to take some food home everyday. You think they ever gave me an Ipad or one of them big flat screens? The answer sure as hell ain't yes, I'll tell ya' that much. Anyways, one day me and old Wyatt had enough'n said "fuck it, lets move to Russia." They say it's just like the wild west over there.