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Server time (UTC): 2019-10-22, 17:43
Lord Bob
Character information
  1. Alias
    Lord Robert Roberts-Robertson
  2. Mental
    Overly English
  3. Date of birth
    1991-04-12 (28 years old)
  4. Place of birth
    England
  5. Nationality
    English
  6. Ethnicity
    Englishnian
  7. Languages
    Anglish
  8. Religion
    Anglothiest

Description

  1. Height
    185 cm
  2. Weight
    92 kg
  3. Build
    Large
  4. Hair
    Brown
  5. Eyes
    Blue
  6. Features
    Very English

Background

Lord Bob was victim to an unfortunate tea related accident and now lives in a fantasy alternative-history Olde England world.

Due to his ridiculous strength and focus caused from his head injury; he found a career in becoming a conditioned contract killer.

 

Lord Bob looked at the warped teapot in his hands and felt confident.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his green surroundings. He had always hated full of foreigners Chernaurus with its terrible, teeny-tiny Trees. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel confident.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Jak Onions. Jak was a malicious man with handsome elbows and curvy eyes.

Lord gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a brave, adorable, tea drinker with fragile elbows and straight eyes. His friends saw him as a vague man. Once, he had even jumped into a river and saved a fancy injured bird.

But not even a brave person who had once jumped into a river and saved a fancy injured bird, was prepared for what Jak had in store today.

As Lord stepped outside and Jak came closer, he could see the alive glint in his eye.

"I am here because I want death," Jak bellowed, in a lovable tone. He slammed his fist against Lord's chest, with the force of 8009 bears. "I frigging hate you, Lord Bob."

Lord looked back, even more healthy and still fingering the warped teapot. "My good sir, I've never seen you in my life" he replied.

They looked at each other with intent on leaving this moment lonely, like two hungry wolves rampaging at a childrens' disco, which had orchestral music playing in the background and two hilarious uncles dancing like middle-aged white men to the beat of Baby by Justin Beiber.

Suddenly, Jak lunged forward and tried to punch Lord in the face. Quickly, Lord grabbed the warped teapot and brought it down on Jak's skull.

Jak's handsome elbows trembled and his curvy eyes wobbled. He looked relaxed, his body raw like a ragdoll.

Then he let out an agonizing groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Jak Onions was dead.

Lord Bob then returned inside to make himself a new pot of tea.


2 Comments


Fae

Posted

coffee lol GIF

oh my god... 🤣

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Watchman

Posted

10/10

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