My name is Ollie.
I was born in London in 1993.
My mother worked as the chief secretary for a local and well known plastic surgeon.
My father owned his own IT company.
I had everything growing up, I really can't complain.
Except parents.
They have always been busy.
I cannot remember playing with them… I cannot remember them tucking me in when it was bedtime... Sad, isn't it?
My best friend? My nanny Shanon.
Great person. Gone way too soon.
Rest in peace
 

My relationship with my parents became difficult when I was about 16 years old. They wanted me to finish school… wanted me to study… Otherwise they did not really care about me. It was all about the reputation...
"Think about what the others would think about us if you do not study!"
That's what it was all about.

I finished school like they wanted me to do… and that’s about it.
For me, everything changed when I was 18years old.
I was in a club with some friends when a guy gave me his business card. He was an agent for a model agency… a pretty popular one I found out a day later.
A week later I signed my first contract and my own life began.
First I only had small shoots for some local designers or some fashion catalogues. At the same time I started to get more popular on Instagram.
Soon, maybe two months after signing the contract, I had my personal assistance who took care of media, money, booking and everything else I needed.

Earning money on my own, working hard… not even that was enough for my parents so I cut off all contact.
I have no idea if they are still alive.

My life was simple.
Looking good, party, alcohol, drugs.
I loved it.
I never had to worry about anything.
Do not get me wrong… It was not all easy…  I did take all of it seriously. I was never late for a job. I always had my shit together, never went stoned to a job, and I always gave my best.
I earned that money because I was good.
The people who booked me… whether it was designers or agents of companies… They liked me because of my unique looks and style.
I had a really good reputation.

End of 2019 I was booked by a Norwegian lingerie company for some exclusive pictures for the new season.
No one could have known that there would be no “next season” in the lifestyle industry... or no next season ever for everything and everyone...

So I worked as I was supposed to. 
Once I was here in Norway, I also got hired by local designers and so I extended my stay for a couple of months. I like it in Norway... friendly people... great night life, overall great style.
However... Then the shit happended and I never got the chance to fly back home.

I miss hot showers...
I miss eating in fine restaurants…
I miss my warm and comfy bed...
And...
I hate this world.

But I am not giving up… 
I try to adapt…
&
I really try my best.

optimistic
humorous
open minded
forgiving
neat
convincing
charming
self-confident
bubbly

stubborn
insensitive
picky
impatient
difficult
shameless
bubbly

Click me

Only one sound is needed to describe Jonar the best. And that would be
"mhm".
The best word to chose, if I had to pick one, is
"Okay".
A man of few words... but what a man!
When we first met, it was not very nice. I think he judges me because of my previous job... which he does not understand one bit... where I come from and the color of my skin.
I am hoping that he will get used to it... that he, at one point, stops to see those things and that he starts to care about me as a friend.
Do not get me wrong, he can be a total prick and seems very closed minded.
However, he also seems loyal and fair... I think... I hope... .
Well, I do like him. While I talk a lot, he does not.
But he talks to me... most of the time... and I like what he has to say.

Things are getting better.
We got to know some lovely people and while he still seems a bit uncomfortable around many people, he stays. He always says I have a way with words and I do think he is right...so I use this gift for us both, trying to make him comfortable around others. It is funny... It seems he feels more comfortable around me now. It feels like he slowly starts to trust me...opening up a bit.
He could have left me since I found some people we both could have stayed... but we stay together... he stays... he stays with me.

We found ourselves in a strange situation where he protected me... placing himself in front of me so a strange and weird guy could not reach me.
And in the end he killed that guy to safe another woman.
He wanted the guy to be left alone... as I did... and he tried anything he could.
Sadly the guy was not... not right in the head and tried to strangle this woman.
One second, one shot and the guy was dead.

He did good.
I do think it weighs heavy on him... but I try to ensure him that it was the right thing to do and I am thankful.

---

We walk from town to town, still. We stay in huts or abandoned houses near water and far away from any town.
He talks more. He laughs more. He is actually really funny. And as of right now, I do think he trusts me. Finally.

A few days back, we did drink too much, he crawled into my bed. However, it is not what you think... he was sleep walking. Still, it scared the shit out of me and it took me a while to actually wake him up. He did not do anything... he just layed down next to me.

Well... I could not sleep anymore after this while he was sleeping back on his own little bunk. He woke up again and was surprised that I was still up. He understood that I could not lay down again... after what happened. He offered to lay down next to him, which made sense to me since he cannot crawl iinto my bed when I sleep next him. If he stands up, I will wake up anyway. So I layed down next to him, covered with his blanket. He placed his arm around me and I could hear him breathing quietly and relaxed.

And then I felt it.
I felt it in my stomach first.
And as I closed my eyes, it felt like home.

I fell asleep in his arm quickly.
We did not talk about it the next day.
We just walked again and laughed and talked. And as soon as it began to get dark, we looked for another house to stay in and found an old bar.

This night I asked him.
I asked him to stay in the same bed with me.
And he stayed with me.
We stayed in the same bed but apart from each other.

It was him who called my name after a while.
Then he cuddled up to me.
He held me.
His hand moved up and down my shoulder.
Then my back.
I felt his hair.
I felt his skin.
I felt his breath on my cheek.
I am not sure for how long we looked each other in the eyes... but damn... his eyes are deep... and clear and beautiful.

And then he kissed me.
Soft and slow.
Carefully and at the same time confident.
We did not say anything and nothing more happened.
We just fell asleep in each others arm and we woke up in the same position.

And now I feel it not only in my stomach...
I feel it in my chest...
I feel my heart beating fast.

I felt all of this before but I was unable to understand... but now I know.

I think I fell in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time.

---

Things between us are going good.
And yet I have to remind myself all the time, that being afraid of things going wrong is not the way to make things right.

I know he likes me... he likes me the way I am and maybe exactly because of the way I am.
We are different in so many ways and sometimes I struggle to keep up with him and his world. And I am sure he sometimes feels the same.
But everyday we get to know each other more and I do like what I get to learn about him.

I never got to know someone like him.

We had an amazing night.
Romantic and thoughtful.
Wild and soft.
Confident and exploring.
And I do not think that I will ever get enough of him.

I cannot get enough of
us.