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the hills | xo | pacify her | carousel | horns
“Shoot it Yelena!” My friend yelled to me in pure panic. The look on his face equally matched to mine.
I found myself struggling to upholster my pistol from it's belt. Every yank to release my gun only made my head pound more with fear.
My heart was in my throat.
We had no idea what this was at the time. At first it didn't seem real. Seeing all the men, women and... children... stumble in such aggression to... kill us.
We did what we could...
But doing what we could wasn't good enough.
Eventually, what seemed like forever, my pistol released as I lashed it in the direction of a young girl charging at me. She was about eleven years old, looked like she had just finished brushing her teeth in the morning. Face veined and painted with dried blood. Her movement all wrong. Her attempt to kill me was a major concern. And the only thing I could do was to shoot her.
The bullet landed into her oesophagus. The muffled chokes received by the small being before collapsing right at my feet.
She didn't get up... at all.
When I signed up for the CDF, this is not what I expected it to be. Murdering children... It all seemed role reversal... That was supposed to be the Chedaki's job...
At that point, it was too hard to breath. Thoughts in my head of what had happened whilst I sprinted to safety just couldn't provide me any answers I searched for.
I soon made myself M.I.A to the C.D.F before it collapsed in the chaos of South Zagoria.
Every time I tried to collect my thoughts, I was reminded of that day. The day I had killed that sweet innocent little girl.
I felt like a murderer and probably was.
My mind even began to turn on me.
I caved in.
I tried to cope.
But the voices always made sure I never forgot.
People Who Understand Her and Accept Her Condition
Any Forms of Music to Block Out the Voices
Being A Social Outcast Because of Her Schizophrenia
The PTSD - Any Forms of Suspicion of Her Past or Original Profession
Ignorance - Especially from People Who Are Guests in Her Lands
Lack of Common Sense
Schizophrenia: a long-term mental disorder of a type involving a breakdown in the relation between thought, emotion, and behaviour, leading to faulty perception, inappropriate actions and feelings, withdrawal from reality and personal relationships into fantasy and delusion, and a sense of mental fragmentation.
PTSD: An individual's PTSD might include symptoms such as feelings of shame, or less commonly, compulsive or aggressive behaviours, or self-destructive behaviour. These cases often interfere with an individual's personal life and thus, they are also associated with certain social patterns.
Language Barrier: barrier to communication between people who are unable to speak a common language.
Reading Other Languages: Yelena only knows how to read Czech and Russian. She has taken a year in the apocalypse to learn broken English. But has never read a word of English in her life.
Tattoo Addiction: “Addiction” essentially means performing the same action or activity over and over out of control. Some people describe the process of getting more and more tattoos as a kind of addiction while the others call it simply a passion.
Comes Across as Quiet, Cautious or Negative but This Attitude is Redeemed because of her Paranoia of Judgement from Others
Unknown People Are Not to be Trusted
The Voices Are Wrong
Strict in Problematic Situations to Avoid Others or Herself Getting Hurt
Can Seem Very Brutal to People Who Do Not Help Any Cause
Heart of Gold
Tolerance Depends on Respect
MORE THAN A FRIEND
CARED FOR / TRUSTED / CLOSE
Whilst we butt heads we're pretty much the same. But you're just more asshole than I am. You was there in my time of need and hurt. I can only return favours.
Whilst he is a man, he portrays the innocence of a child. Her mother like person only contributes to him for some reason. She does not trust him with her life however.
I need to try and save you - but I know I would die.
I trust you like I trust Imrich. We see eye to eye. Thank god someone has common sense around here.
The true definition of peace.
Denis 'Grachi' Sokolov
For what once was a friend, you surely turned into a righteous prick. I hope you end up 6ft under where you belong.
Good riddance, you got what was coming. I can also pretend to be your friend too. But I'm really laughing over your dead body.
Charlie 'Chains' Callahan
The only foreigner that seems to understand me - even though a language barrier is between us.
Imrich translated the letter.... I knew I was just a game to you after all... You never truly meant what you said to me....
Clinically diagnosed by Kevin Shock with:
PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)
Triggers: Children under the age of 16
Passive anger, which doesn’t always come across as anger and can be difficult to identify
Self-inflicted anger, which is directed toward the self and may be caused by feelings of guilt
Judgmental anger, which is directed toward others and may come with feelings of resentment
Volatile anger, which involves sometimes-spontaneous bouts of excessive or violent anger