Sit down, let's have a chat.
Here we are, you on one end of the table and I the other.
In your hand a 9MM siderarm. In mine a knife.
We are both faced with a test. With one question. Who will win?
Most would say the one with the gun. I would stop and ask a new question.
What do you want to win?
Takistan 0300 07/4/17
The area we were headed had seen a lot of chaos from two warring groups. I was on my way with a group of disaster relief workers employed by the UNDAC (United Nation Disaster Assment and Coordination). We had a military escort and it was going to be dangerous. Once we arrived we got a little more than anticipated.
We arrived on a cold Takistan morning at about 3AM. We began work and anticipated to be there for about a month and a half. We were repairing homes, supplying residents with food and water and doing what work we could with the US Embassy.
Three weeks in on a hot sun beaming down kind of day we caught wind of a situation West of us heading our direction. It was not specified what was headed our direction. The UN and US soldiers posted up expecting a firefight. That's not what came though. A flood of civilians. People looking for refuge in this town. Many extremely sick. No one knew why. Some of them were telling stories of their neighbors and loved ones becoming extremely ill and then aggressive. Attacking each other and one person even saw someone taking a bite out of a body on the road. None of it made sense. To this day it is still hard to believe any of it is real. After a week holding these refugees here the same thing started happening in that town. People were aggressive, animalistic and fighting each other. The situation was out of control. Even with risk of civilian casualty jets flew over raining bullets and bombs down on the town. Explosions could be heard left and right. Smoke stacks filled the air. It was getting dark. Everyone was panicking.
In the panic I found a group of locals with a truck. One of them spoke English. I had a gun. I told him to give me the truck. I wanted to bring myself and my crew as far from here as possible. This man pointed in the sky. A helicopter was flying off. He said that was my ride and I was left behind. With my gun still pointed at him as he was shaking he said something to me that I will always remember. He said "listen friend, you have a gun. I have the truck. If I fight back you will win. You can shoot me. But is that what you want? Is that what you want to win, you want to kill me? Or do you want to escape?"
He was right. I put my gun down and we got out of there. We eventually reached the Takistan - Chernarussian border after we received a radio message saying there was a camp set up there extracting people out of the area. We arrived and waited for our ticket out of there along with many other people. When the helicopter came it was a fight over who could get in. The heli crew tried to calm everyone down till bullets started flying and people started falling to the ground. The helicopter flew away.
After that my friend and I traveled together through Chernarus surviving for as long as we could. I lost him along the way and it was my fault. I couldn't choose myself over him. At one end of the table he had a knife and I had a gun. We were approached with a question. Who will win? At the time I only saw one way out and he thought so too. He was already sick and I had to shoot him.
But now I realize there was another option. A better question to be asked. Not who will win but what do we want to win? Maybe if we worked together we could have made it out of there together. So from now on when I am presented with only two options, kill or be killed.
I always find a third.