The name's Jeremiah Woods, born in Wiggins Mississippi, I lived in Ireland with my grandparents who moved over for work during my childhood because I was an unwanted pregnancy. When I turned 18 I moved back to Mississippi to find my parents to show them what a strong man I became. They didn't care. I was depressed, they disowned me for the second time. Thats when I decided the join the US army. I had the arms of an elephant so I got the nickname, 'The Big Lad' pretty quickly. I served in Vietnam, the things I saw, the things I did, I never speak of. A part of me died that day. When I returned home, I sat in my empty house, no friends, no family, no bitches. The years went by, I did the same thing everyday. Next thing I knew I was 69, my life went that quick, I regretted everything I didn't do in life, it was time to live. I wrote up a bucket list, great intentions then I sat back down on my ass for another year. Thats when I saw an advert in the newspaper, Open Arms Retirement, a photo of a young lady with rather admirable attributes holding an old man in her arms. It was a retirement club, the advert said, re-live your childhood, share stories with your fellow veterans, travel the world. I said, darn it Im god damn going to do it. The next day I put on my musty 'good' shirt, my flat cap and glasses. Made my way to the location of the club and there I met this beautiful lady, my eyes sprung open and I said to her, 'Is this the Open Arms Retirement club or heaven?' She looked rather confused and she said 'No sir, your in Walmart womens department.'
The next day I booked a travel guide, told him the first sight I wanted to see was the 'Open Arms Retirement club'. He was rather confused and took out his phone and had a google, 'Yes sir.' On the way he pointed out sights and started speaking garbage nobody would question if it were fact or fiction, I turned off my hearing aid and kept smiling. Once I got there he said, 'Now sir, here we-', I jumped out of the car and shouted back 'See you later, Scumbag.' The man ran after me and demanded his money and that he's not some damn taxi. I told him to shove it and started shouting 'Help help, he's threatening an old man.' He ran away, hopefully back to his own country, scumbag.
I entered the doors and was met with a smell no man should smell and rather hard to look at faces. They welcomed me in but their lips were moving but I couldn't hear anything. I just kept nodding, maybe the hearing caught up on me. Next thing someone points to a luggage bag and points at me, I nodded again, not knowing what the fuck this old granny wanted. Next thing someone gives me the thumbs up and i nod again. I was coaxed towards a car, in I went, when we arrived I was given a wheelchair, about fucking time. I dozed off in the wheelchair, when I woke up I remembered that I had turned off my fucking hearing aid.
I turned to the person beside me, I felt weird, I looked out the window behind them and I see something white flowing backwards, Im on a fucking plane. I looked back into the persons eyes, 'Where in the name of god almighty are we?'
'To where god darn it?"'
'Chernarus, have you alzheimer's?'