I am gifted.
Since I was 7 years old, I can communicate with different people. People which only talk to me and I am the only one be able to talk to them.
We help each other. We support each other. We tell each other what is good for us. My people are not always around, but whenever I need them.
My mom died while giving birth to me. She was just 21 years old. My father never spoke about it but I am sure he died a little himself that day. He tried to do his best to raise me, giving me a normal childhood. He thinks he failed.
Every now and then, I could feel his eyes on me. While sitting on the couch, watching TV, he looked at me kinda lost. I could feel the blame. He blamed me for the death of his wife, my mother. When I had questions about her, he told me to ask my grandmother. He was cold. There was no picture of my mum in the entire house. He kept the pictures to himself, locked away in his desk in his bedroom. My father never married again and never had another woman in the house. I had a quiet childhood. There was not much talking.
I remember the day when I was at my grandma's house and I asked her about my mother. Iva, was her name and she had beautiful long hair, the same hair colour as I have, dark blonde. My grandmother showed me a picture of her while telling me about my mothers life and how she was. I felt many different things and I remember how confused I was at the same time. She told me how happy my mum and my dad had been together and that the pregnancy was not planned. They did not know if they wanted to keep me but then decided to give it a try because my grandmother told them she would help and support them. I love my grandmother. She is the best.
This night, only 7 years old, I was not alone in my room. Next to my bed was Lilly, she was as old as me. We talked about my mum and my dad and it felt good to tell her, that I had the feeling it was my fault that my mum died. Lilly assured me that it was not and I believe her. Lilly and I are best friends, even though she is not with me all the time.
After this night Lilly came every day and talked to me, sometimes she stayed overnight in my bed and we cuddled.
I did not understand why my father could not see her. He yelled at me, demanding me to stop playing games with a person who was not there. He punished me by taking away toys or locking me into the basement to think about my behaviour. Whenever my father was around, I stopped talking to Lilly and she understood.
My father seemed to be very worried and he took me to a doctor. I had to answer a lot of questions. I lied, for the most part because my father was with me in the room.
To make this long story short, since I was 7 years old, I have a lot of friends. They come and go but whenever I need them, they are here for me.
When I was 14 years old, my father told me that it would be better to be with my grandmother. He could not handle me and my "stange behaviour", so he said, anymore. If you ask me, I think he was afraid. I also think that I made him very sad as I look a lot like my mother.
My grandmother was old and tired which gave me the freedom to do what I wanted, for the most time. Drinking, staying away over night, trying some drugs... that has been my thing for a long time now. I hate rules and laws, thats why I dont follow them.
I dropped out of school because of my behaviour and they made me go to a doctor again.
When I was 15 years old, I was told that I suffer from something called depression. They told me because of that, I have psychotic episodes and because I drink alot of alcohol and take drugs, I would show high risk behaviour with auto-aggressive tendencies.
I don't get why people want to put me in a box and label it as mentally ill. I am not. If anything, I am gifted. People just don't understand. I never took the pills the doctor gave me and I never will. I dont need them.
I am not one of those crazy people.
The day the first news about those creatures came through the radio and the TV, my father called and told me he was trying to get out. I thought he would pick me up, trying to save me, but he only called to say goodbye. My grandmother, the most important person in my life, told me that I should try leaving the country. She gave me her car keys and packed me a suitcase with everything I could possibly need. She would stay, she said. She is too old and would rather die. As sad as I was, I understood her decision.
At the same time Lilly came through the door, telling me that it is time to go and so I did. I never made it out, instead I lost my car and had to go through the woods. I left my suitcase and took a small backpack. I took only some food and water, a knife and some clothes to change. Since that day, I walk around, enjoying the freedom I have.
These creatures are easy to avoid and easy to kill if I have to. No rules, no laws - just me and sometimes some dumb strangers.
Honestly, I dont get why everyone is so afraid. This is the best thing that ever happened to me.
I feel confident in this chaos. I feel like this is how it should be.
I have been walking around maybe for two weeks till I ran into a guy. He seemed intimidating when I first saw him, just by his looks. Tall and tattooed. When I talked to him, he seemed nice and not so scary anymore, even though he has something mysterious about him. I like that. He had a guy called Alexander with him. I never liked him. If you ask me, he was boring and stupid.
Vadmin on the other hand... He is hot... I like his laugh.
I instantly knew that I wanted to get closer to him.
Vadim, Alexander and I stayed together maybe two or three days till we met a group of very aggressive people. From the beginning, it was clear to me that they don't want to play nice games with us. I saw how they looked at me... hungry in a way.
At this point, I saw Vadim got his pistol out. I had no idea what would follow and in just one second Vadim raised his pistol, pulled the trigger and killed Alexander who was standing right next to him. One shot in the head. For a moment I thought he would kill me and I might have screamed. This poor guy did not even know what was coming.
I looked at Vadim, then I looked at the dead Alexander. Vadim winked at me, a smirk on his lips as he raised his voice, speaking to the group infront of us.
"Funny how that works. The human body ... made up of billions of cells, and yet it simply takes one tiny piece of metal to unravel your thoughts and spread them onto the ground next to you. Take what he carried as a gift. ", he said.
"I'm sure we can agree on every end is a new beginning. Take us with you", Vadim said while looking at me, still a smile on his lips and I nodded.
I knew that this was Vadim's and my entry into this group.
Since this day we are raiding with the tinheads.
- freedom to do what she wants
- to create chaos
- to play pranks on people
- to take orders
- to been told there are 'rules'
- to get called crazy